falls, thud;

Footprints in the Sand - Leona Lewis

Quote of the day : I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. - E.B.White

I died.
I died looking.
I died looking at it.
I died looking at my mid term marks.
I died looking at it.
I died looking.
I died.


Does talking to me make you feel a little less dumb? Cause I think so.

Life's average. It has its draw backs, no doubt, though I have no alternative choices but to force myself to walk the hardest path. Sometimes I wonder, why can't life be like stories in kinder books we read as a toddler? All about happy endings, rainbows, unicorns, flower blooms et cetera. Reading those books now is merely an action directed to more painful heartbreaks. As when you turn the last page of the book to stare at the two great words marking the end of a happy beginning, you'll just find yourself bouncing back into reality with such a vigorous jerk that it hurts hell.

I guess I don't have enough driving force into initiating anything at all. I'm half-hearted. I'm inconsistent. I'm not trustworthy. Period. I can't seem to find myself feeling enthusiastic about something and eventually give my whole into completing something and feel good about it. I don't. I always make aims that I, at the moment believe that I can fulfill it at the end of the day. I always tell myself that I will start doing this, I will finish doing that, I will do this, I will do that. But when I actually put myself through it, I ended up feeling frustrated, worn out, fed up, disgusted by the idea of me being an utter failure. Could it be that I'm a perfectionist in disguise? Nah... Simply impossible. I certainly feel like I'm constantly living in self-denial, where I constantly trying to please my feelings when I know feeling better ain't gonna change the fact that things' screwed up and needs to be unwind. What am I to do now? Sit and rot? Or try to turn the wheels around?

Something is coming to an end. And I am rather happy about it. Less awkwardness, hello freedom. That's why sometimes you just feel like life ain't gonna be perfect with things like that interfering with your progress of molding things to fit your own. That's why sometimes suspense just make you want to rip your heart out and let it beat for survival. That's why sometimes you feel like running across the road when there's a posh car speeding pass. That's why love is not sufficient to make you feel appreciated. That's why people have suicidal thoughts.

Progress Checklist:
- Social Psychology first proposal (/)
- Social Psychology final proposal ( )
- Sociology Project ( )

All this just to prove how screwed I am for now. :(

For everyone out there, you are all invited to attend the Fete de la Musique!

Type: Music/Arts - Concert

Date: Sunday, June 20, 2010
Time: 10.00am - 10.00pm
Location: Low Yat & The Curve

It will be a blast! Come join the fun! :D

Its 1.40am and I am feeling tired. I am finally retrieving my old self. Plus, I am rather satisfied this time. Thank you. Its an achievement. (:

Taa~ Lovely.


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