Sorry or not?

The air outside is still, the heat is radiating
The old fan in my room still spinning slowly
Everything around me seems to be rising along with the heat
Leaving me alone struggling to get rid of the weight pulling me down
I am drowning into a world of confusion and mystery

I am now lying safe and sound on my comfortable bed
But my mind and my thoughts are racing
Within seconds my tears damps the soft pillow
And my cheeks are moisturised
I am breathing heavily against the mattress
Hoping problems can escape from me along with everything else when i exhale

I accept and admit that i have fired back at her at times
And even bombarded her with ugly words that shatters her fragile yet loving heart
But most of the time i just take a deep breath
Enduring all the pain silently without a word to defend myself
I listened and accepted

Every human has its limits
I felt utterly insulted by her words
Everything sounded true but they pierced through me
Leaving all my principles behind
I lost control of my emotions

However after i fell into deep contemplations
Part of the saying is incredibly true
I feel sorry yet not at the same time
My contradicting thoughts make me feel so hollow and helpless inside
While i am writing this down
I still remained torn in between
Whether to say sorry
And apologise for my wrong doings

Helpless creature is feeling remorse...