Tick. Tock.

Currently listening to Bye Bye by Mariah Carey

Clock is ticking. Minutes passing by. Its already 1.10am. I am leaving today.

I want to sleep. But will my mind stop thinking and let go? Can i fall asleep once my head rests on the pillow as usual? No. It does not work that way. It never. And it will never be.

I have been thinking a lot lately. About what i should do or react in every possible situation when i reach there. Should i do this, or that?

I have been thinking about things i will buy there. Money will be spent, and will be gone. How far will that come true?

I am waiting for the moment. And its less than 24 hours away. I will fly high and disembark in my dream long destination.

GOOD BYE PEOPLE. I JUST HAVE TO ABANDON MY BLOG FOR THE TIME BEING TILL I AM BACK.

Pei Ning - For the last time this year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. :)

Anxious.

Currently listening to Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett.

Leaving tomorrow. Anxious. Excited. Looking forward. Mixed feelings. Fortunately, manage to finish my work before leaving. :) Presentation done. Speech? How? Bag packed. Luggage prepared. Am i ready? Can't wait to see how i look in the uniform and blazer! Everything will take place in KLIA. Will i cry? Nope. I don't think so. To me, it is something like starting a short life there and when you get comfortable there, goodbye again. As some philosophers say, no gathering in Earth nor Universe will last forever. There must be a time where we have to leave each other and move on to our life.

I was bruised at a place near my knee. Know how i got that patch of blue-black? My luggage bag attacked me. I even had a small patch where two layers of epidermis came out. You must be thinking ' Ouch! '. Yes. It hurts. Fortunately again, it will be winter over there so i'll be wearing long pants 24-7. No ugliness exposed!

Went out with Khy Li and Sean for a tea time session at Hailam Kopitiam in SS2. Nothing else but chatting, sharing thoughts, joking, fooling around, teasing. :D Its a finally actually. Khy Li has been asking me out for almost a year and i rejected him with loads of REAL reasons like busy, exam coming, going out, family day...etc. kind of thing. Feel bad inside also. If you are reading this Khy Li, I really feel bad everytime i say cannot to you.

@->--- <---( its a rose)

Yesterday night. Went to Eco Paradise. After all the sweating, felt so refreshing and exhausted at the same time. I felt like i was drained out but i was also feeling as if i was rebirth again. Maybe it was the body cells. Went to the restroom. OMG! My cheeks were totally blushed and my lips are so red. I appeared ' maked up'. Shocked. Anyway, can't see clearly on picture so i deleted the picture i took. Roti Canai after that. Stopped by at Taman Megah to grab some tidbits. :)

While i was putting lots of effort to concentrate on my homework, i got distracted by an 'egg' on my piano. Without any delay, i grabbed to egg, opened it and started fixing. And taadaa!

Its a giraffe if you don't know... Pretty? Hurts my hand making it. With the pressing and all.

Crack.

I haven't been eating lunch lately. Feeling hungry but nothing to eat. Mummy is out most of the time. Leaving three guinea pigs at home. Starving. Coughing. What else? Homework
.
Life now is practically about finishing holiday homework and packing before taking a sweet escape from this pathetic and dull place for a short period. I am so in love with Japan's visa. It is not only special. It has your picture in it! Aha. Idiot. I feel like i am from a confined world of my own and has been suffering from autism. And F.Y.I., i am not. I FEEL like one.
I am an egg. So fragile that you just have to apply a very small force on it to crack it. Break it. Everything seem like they are going to crash down on me. And sometimes my feelings and thoughts are so extra humongous that they are going to force my lungs outwards and burst my lungs in to pieces like a big balloon explosion.

Right. Cut all the pathetic thoughts. I took a one-day trip down to Malacca along with my family last Sunday. And it was not boring as i expected like the last trip to Malacca. It came out to be full of surprises especially in the afternoon. We were greeted by a warm and radiant smile from my grandmother. In to the spacious house we went. My sister, brother and i specially enjoyed the echoes produced in the house even by a small knock on the stool. We joked that it will be impossible for one to tell secret in this house.
I did some hammering and gluing with daddy as my grandmother's cupboard is breaking apart very soon if not ' rescued'. I was actually acting like a professional beside daddy albeit he was the one who did most of the things
.
The clock strucks 12.30pm. Stomach growling. Wolfs are out for lunch!
Climbed into the car and off we went. First stop, a vegetatrian restaurant which was occupied by a wedding function. Disappointed. Proceeded to the next stop. Another vegetarian restaurant fully packed. Have to wait for quite a while. Frustrated. Went to Mahkota Parade. Looked for information counter when granny insisted that there is a vegetarian restaurant there. Ran up and down the mall looking for a right restaurant like blind chicken with sis. Granny is a vegetarian and we have no choice but to conform to a strict choice of food. Had no idea what is the restaurant name as granny did not state. Came by Le Garden and granny pointed at it and said this is it profusely.
' I remember its surname is Lee one! I remember! '
Coolest lunch in years in Malacca with granny. Get to eat meat while granny eat vegetarian servings. How rare. Totally once in a blue moon you get that great treat. Ate an extremely delicious plate of Chow Kuey Tiao and drank a cup of ice lemon tea. That meal was not the peak of everything. After lunch
,
We went down to McDonalds for ice-cream! It was quite a long walk from where we had our satisfying, stomach-filling lunch. And surprisingly, granny was willing to walk all the way there! Way to go granny!
6 cups of chocolate sundae. One for each INCLUDING GRANNY! What was even surprising was granny ate faster than me! Headed home shortly after that and goodbye for the day. :)
Cheers to this rare but extraordinary day!

Bad news : One of my host redrew so i'm left stranded for 3 weeks with the same host. T.T

Pei Ning.
:)

Disorientated.

Currently listening to My Destiny by Katherine Mcphee

Four more days to the day to bid my goodbyes to my family and friends, to a completely unfamiliar place with a group of unfamiliar faces and next to meet more unfamiliar people speaking an unfamiliar language. Ironically, it might be a grotesquely superb confidence booster. Unlike Yi Xuan, she can still stay comfortably in her comfort zone as the picture in her blog suggests. There are still quite a number of them who she knows well enough to stick together with for the whole flight to Brisbane and not trying to make an attempt to socialise with the others whom is a complete stranger to her. I hope she had a chance to talk to the others. Otherwise, she just wasted that few hours of her flight to Brisbane in the whole program talking to people whom she already knew :)
.
Till now, my packing is still slacking as i am completely lost like i am a macroscopic creature which does not swim, dumped into an endless ocean. Stranded. I just do not know what to bring with me as all of the necessities i can think of are already well positioned in my luggage. I would not want to face the awkward situation where my jaw drops as if there is no more support to that and i started gasping for air while i rummage my luggage turning everything in sight in to a mess shouting,
' Where the hell is my ******, HMoG! How am i supposed to survive for 3 weeks without my ******? I'm a dead meat now. So dead. '
Then i will plunge into my bed and cuddle for a while, before going up to my host parents to ask if they have what i did not bring with an irony smile carved on my face
.
Incomplete work to work on. Clock is ticking. Time is running out.
My brain has to think faster. Hands are to work faster.
Faster heart pace. More fidgeting.
Japan, Beware!
I'm coming to invade very soon!

Can You Hear Santa?

Currently listening to First Love by Utada Hikaru

Christmas is nearing
Do you hear Santa?

You peer out of your window

You stare into the dark sky

Oblivious of the twinkling stars

You are mesmerized by your thoughts and feelings.

You wanted to eat the cake badly

But the story behind the cake is poisonous

Despite the fact that the cake is nicely decorated

You flung the cake down on the marble floor

You are shaking and fuming

Where is the wishing well when you need it?

You had a cup of Starbucks coffee

You embraced the sofa gently

You are thinking

" Why am I alone? "

Family's Day Out

Today, we went out quite early to shopping. What i like most is to shop wtih my family. Bonding, that's what people call. Star Hill Gallery was the place we hit first. There was another watch exhibition like the previous time i went so we have to register our names and wear tag to enter. Cool...Then we crossed over to Pavillion since it was just a road away. We walked and strolled around the mall, went into shops like Adidas, ZARA, Coach, Burberry, Gant and many many more.Just to have a look though. Then, we had our lunch at Sakae Sushi! I ordered a Tuna Mayo sushi roll and Unagi Don. They were finger licking good! After lunch, we continued our shopping!During teatime, we went down to eat Toast Box. Ha! Again, something i have been looking forward to. I just love their half boil egg and the toast. * Slurp~~* Don't they taste nice? Then, we walked down the road to I-Forgotten-What-Mall-Was-That to buy souvenirs for my host families. Wee~ that reminds me of my trip again! Took quite some pictures to test my picturing skills before flying off to Japan. The sun is down and the moon radiates its dim and soothing ray across the busy city when we came out. Its dinner time again!My dad drove us to I-Forgotten-What-Hotel-Was-That to try their steak. And i ate medium-well beef for the first time today! Imagine hours ago i was chewing * Moo~* . Alright, cut the nonsense. My camera ran out of battery so i didn't get the chance to take the picture of me eating so too bad. Anyway, I had a great day today. First, because i get to eat beef? Second, because we were going out together in a family! I love family!

Leo Christmas Charity Bazaar 2008

It is held in Subang Parade. My shift started at 9.30 am and last till 2.00 pm. In the morning, my mum and i was stuck in a massive traffic jam despite the fact that we started from home early which is when the clock struck nine. When my mum dropped me by the bus stop in front of the entrance, i thought i was late because it was already 9.40 am. So i paced up a little and entered into the mall.

I checked the time and the date, afraid i had gotten the time and date wrong when i saw there was not even a single SMKTS Leo there. So i just sat down aside and waited. When it was almost 9.50am, i proceeded to call Wai Phun and found out they have already reached and were standing at the place where i have been waiting for long. And suddenly i felt like a fool. In moments, we were walking in and out of the mall carrying stuffs and getting ready for the bazaar.

It started quite hard in the arranging of things on the table because of some reason and we had to change the position of things for four times consecutively. Didn't want to tell why so don't ask why. After that, i went to a started-to-be-interesting walk around the mall to pull crowds to our stall along with Cecelia and Pei Zhen. Our efforts were paid when most of them actually proceeded to our stall after that. However, some just treated us coldly and rejected us profusely before we even explain to them what exactly we are doing there as if we are some sales girls. Hello, we are here for good and for a reason. We are here for the society and some people are so rich that they are carrying LV bags and own branded accessories but are so stingy when it comes to helping the unfortunates.

It is already 12.30pm. We were tempted by the scent of delicious food but its our duty to help out in the bazaar and not to eat. Our legs are tired. We have already walked the entire mall for more than five times and back to the stall every time we walked the entire mall. And i am talking about walking and not strolling around restfully and taking pictures along the way. WE ARE DEVOTED LIKE ALL THE OTHER SMKTS LEOs and PJIs. I used to walk for the whole day non-stop when i go to tours with my parents and never get tired. I can even walk for more than 20 kilometres per day but not feeling anymore tiring than this. Maybe its because i love travelling and its different when walking in the mall, not doing shopping but promoting. But still, everything is worth walking and worth doing because "everything for charity" is our goal for this Christmas Bazaar and we all hope to give a merrier Christmas and New Year to the unfortunates.

At 1.32 pm. My partners left me alone there while they went off duty and enjoy in Sakae Sushi. I thought another half and hour will be my break and i can go home and relax so i wanted to give my best shot in this short half and hour time. Within this period, i grew to know things better and understand what life is really about also. It all started when i approached a couple around their 50s. And the guy started asking about this charity and told us its a good deed doing charity if we followed the exact procedure. And he moved on to talking about the four elements in our body which are the Wind, Fire, Liquid and Earth. The dark clouds that seems to loom around my mind every time when it comes to these things has finally put to a stop today. I understand perfectly the meaning of those things, rebirth and karma. I didn't get to hear the last part because my mum has come to pick me up.

And so, i got a quite cold welcome but a warm goodbye from the Leos. I guess its another session to get us together and bond again! Happy Christmas and Happy New Year to all.

Smileys :)

Tagged by Bernard

Tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box or anyway that he/she has been tagged.

1. What is it that bothers you the most?
Tough question. I don't know actually.

2. What is your most favourite thing to do?
Being a couch potato? Listening to music.

3. What kind of news do you read?
Celebrity news! Celebrity gossips are my favourite. Political news are no-no for me although i was quite into Barack Obama's winning and him becoming the first black president! He is so cool man.

4. What is your ultimate wish?
I wish life is filled with unlimited fun and when people talks about exam, i'll be like, " Huh? What is that? How come it is not registered in my dictionary? "

5. Is there someone in your heart right now?
NO!

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Everyone needs money to survive. Without money, where do you get food to eat or clothes to wear? Some says love is blind. But if you were to marry someone who is totally broke, how are you going to survive? So sometimes you've got to think of his/her financial background also. Love is not everything.

7. Are you afraid of pain ?
Maybe? Yes. I remember i used to cry a lot on the way to the dentist to get my teeth pulled out.

8. What do you feel like doing right now?
Finish this tag and get some sleep.

9. If there’s someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
No. I'll let the guy confess to me!

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
- Cool
- Lame
- Macho

11.What is your 5 most passionate thing at this moment?
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep

12.What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
Over-controlling?

13. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Do i have other choice other than choosing one thing? If i do, i want to eat everything that is edible. If i had to choose one, that might be raw salmon?

14. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick?
Can i pick both? I want to be rich and happy.

15. What's your plan now?
Finish my powerpoint presentation asap.

16. How do you see yourself in 5 years time?
Still studying, not growing any taller than now, prettier?

17. What is the one thing you love about yourself?
I love that i'm happy 9/10 of the time. Happy is good for health. And i love that i don't drink carbonated drinks. Water is good for health.

18. If you can bring only one thing along with you to another world, what would it be?
I'll bring my toy which i cuddle in almost every night for 16 years.

19. Use one word to describe yourself.
Happy.

I tag Sean and only Sean.

Control Outing II

Erm. Who won?Jessica the poser!

And who says he is not a poser?And who says he is not a poser again? Its you LI REN!

We are F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Controlling Outing

The name of this outing came from Bernard - Control Macho. As the title suggests, he is definitely in the spotlight for today! Eventually, the Scandal Queen who always grab attention continues to stand out with two persons ( Bernard and Chong De) going against her all the time.
Her : ( Points at Bernard's neck) What is this are you wearing?
Bernard : Necklace....
-----------------------------------
Her : What exactly are we going to watch?
Bernard : Movie!
Her : What movie?
Bernard : Horror movie!
Her : Other than that?
Bernard : Scary movie!
-----------------------------------
Her : I don't want to suck the stuff out. Later too much air goes in!
CD : No wonder you want to let it out!
( might be a bit deep for this)

I rushed to McDonalds after i had lunch with my mum and sister thinking i was late. Just when i was entering McD, i heard somebody calling out for me and i turned around. There stood Bernard and Li Kheng. So i just followed them when Bernard said he wants to get his phone charged because the battery is flat. They said they were looking for Blue Cube and i was told it is on the second floor but we were on the first floor. Luckily i realised it fast, otherwise we will be stuck there for God knows how long.

We then proceeded back to McDonalds to meet up with Jessica and Chong De. Li Kheng went somewhere else while we chat on until Li Ren came. We were waiting for the last person who is Daphney so Bernard messaged her. Guess what was her reply? " When? " And she was the one who requested for the change of day for this outing. We went to play pool then. It is my first time playing so i was the noob there. But the pros like CD and Jessica were so kind that they took the patience to teach me even how to hold the stick. But i managed to shoot in one ball though. Went to arcade.

We then went to the roof to play batting. The balls was shooting out so fast that they freaked me out in the beginning. I did quite all right while control macho only started showing skills on the second round. And his pose for pictures were all emotional and controlled. Guess he does not want to break the control macho spell? We headed to Yippee Cup for a drink. Some ate toast since it was in a set. I ended up ordering Green Tea which was the healthiest of all. Thumbs up for me! Went back to arcade again after that to finish up Li Kheng's unfinished tokens. Then goodbye for the day.

Still thank you Chong De for being such gentleman and took all the trouble to send us home. You are the best man! I shall post the pictures when i get them from Jessica.

World AIDS Day

WORLD AIDS DAY 2008
You can make a difference

More people than ever before are living with HIV in the world and new infections continue. HIV is a serious long term condition and people living with HIV often face discrimination by the society. Whatever status you are in your community and world, you play a role in ending HIV prejudice and stopping the spread of HIV. The red ribbon has always been an international symbol of HIV for 15 years since World AIDS Day was established by the World Health Organisation in 1988. So if you wear one with pride, you are showing your support and respect for the 40 million people living with HIV worldwide.

There are many ways you can take action in response to HIV/AIDS:
- get tested for HIV
- practice safe methods to prevent HIV
- decide not to engage in high risk behaviors
- talk about HIV prevention with family, friends, and colleagues
- provide support to people living with HIV/AIDS
- get involved with or host an event for World AIDS Day in your community

Sorry or not?

The air outside is still, the heat is radiating
The old fan in my room still spinning slowly
Everything around me seems to be rising along with the heat
Leaving me alone struggling to get rid of the weight pulling me down
I am drowning into a world of confusion and mystery

I am now lying safe and sound on my comfortable bed
But my mind and my thoughts are racing
Within seconds my tears damps the soft pillow
And my cheeks are moisturised
I am breathing heavily against the mattress
Hoping problems can escape from me along with everything else when i exhale

I accept and admit that i have fired back at her at times
And even bombarded her with ugly words that shatters her fragile yet loving heart
But most of the time i just take a deep breath
Enduring all the pain silently without a word to defend myself
I listened and accepted

Every human has its limits
I felt utterly insulted by her words
Everything sounded true but they pierced through me
Leaving all my principles behind
I lost control of my emotions

However after i fell into deep contemplations
Part of the saying is incredibly true
I feel sorry yet not at the same time
My contradicting thoughts make me feel so hollow and helpless inside
While i am writing this down
I still remained torn in between
Whether to say sorry
And apologise for my wrong doings

Helpless creature is feeling remorse...

Crave for More and More Ice-cream?

Can't get enough of ice-creams? Or trying hard to keep yourself away from Häagen-Dazs ice cream as it takes up most of your pocket money? Get it all in McDonalds! Hahaha... You can simply stop by in any McDonald store to get ice cream sundae for just RM 2 ! Offer lasts till 7th of December i think... So if you love ice cream more than anything else, get it now! Do i sound like i'm making an advertisement? Anyway, buy it now! I myself bought three in two days... hahaha... I'm getting fatter in other words.Just get here... --->And get this!

Currently listening to If I Were A Boy by Beyonce

Atlantis Hotel - World Most Prestigious Hotel

Dubai's £950 million Atlantis hotel has officially opened on Thursday has been built by Sol Kerzner, a South African hotelier, on the Palm Jumeirah island. Shrugging off global financial crisis for a moment, Dubai along more than 2000 world celebrities included film stars and sporting greats witnessed the spectacular fireworks display in the extravagant big bash.

It is not only a lavishly built hotel, the Atlantis Hotel is also boasts that its dolphin facility - Dolphin Bay, will be the first rescue and rehabilitation centre present for stranded and injured dolphins in Dubai. However, it has been condemned by environmentalists for shipping the dolphins from the South Pacific to the Middle East to stock a marine attraction. I personally don't agree to this too as the dolphins might not be able to get used to new environment. So i guess it is not really a practical idea. * shrugs*

Currently hooked on to Forensic Heroes I and Forensic Heroes II. Get to learn how to think like them!

Crave for Bonding Sessions

As we have planned for months, the bonding session was carried out at Shu Ning's place yesterday. I went to Sahara field around 9.30am to meet up with Shu Ning, Jennifer, Khai Sern and Joel. Thinking Khai Sern will ask me to play volleyball with him as he said in MSN, i wore a mini skirt with a pants that comes with it to enable easier movement. The concrete was wet and Khai Sern was preoccupied in teaching Joel how to play volleyball so i ended up talking to Shu Ning and Jennifer while i let myself in for being a victim of the aggressive mosquitoes there.

When the clock almost strike 10, we headed back to Shu Ning's house. Just a short while later, Xin Wei, Geber and Joseph arrived. We were in the kitchen doing the preparations. Cutting cucumber in a very small size is always difficult for me but i realised that i'm not the only amateur there. Joel did an extremely dangerous thing when he continued cutting the sausages while his eyes were running wild looking elsewhere but the sausages. After cutting the cucumber, i went on to pounding nuts for the upcoming chocolate cookies which i missed. I knew i should not pound till it turned powder but somehow i got distracted like how Joel did and over-pounded the nuts. Fried eggs then proceeded making pizza.

The process was long, messy and busy. Hands were everywhere grabbing ingredients to add on to each pizza. Xin Wei likes cheese so much that she filled the whole pizza with so much cheese. Our pizza ended up too oily but i still liked it because of the vegetables, onions and sausages i like. Xin Wei made a smiling face on the pizza to represent a cheerful pizza, a happy day and of course to make our pizza significant.

While waiting for the pizza to be ready in Shu Ning mum's oven, the moment i longed for is here. Popia time! I just love the process of making popia and the taste of it. Its such a bliss when you get to taste the popia made by yourself. The popias made by Joseph was a total failure as he had almost all the ingredients in it dropped on the plate and the sauce was dripping all over. Everybody was entertained by his clumsiness. I still ended up making slim popia although i tried hard not to by putting lots of stuff in it.

When the pizzas were ready, we put the popias aside and enjoy our respective pizza. When i started eating my fourth piece, Joel started tossing the remains of his pizza around claiming that he cannot finish it and is very full. It was just one bite away. He was okay until Joseph joked, ' Try tickling him, he sure laugh one.' Before he even finishes his not funny joke, Joel rushed to the toilet and vomited. We were all shocked and started blaming Joseph for mentioning that. Feeling guilty and sorry, he remained silent until Joel strolled back to his seat calmly and nodded profusely as he bombarded him with words of concern.

Everything was perfectly alright until...Joseph and Xin Wei became hysterical.In the midst of making. Mine is definitely the smallest.Fear factor challenge - Drinking a cup of Pepsi.
Hear no evil. See no evil. Speak no evil.

We rested our stomach for digestion by playing cards. I started by playing speed with Shu Ning and she was so aggressive that the feelings i had when playing with her during Form 2 strucked my like a series of lightning. Still the same huh? Then i proceeded playing Chor Dai Di with Geber, Joseph and Shi Jing. So the noob won the first round! Learned how to play poker also.

The next interesting meal was pulut inti. Mine was okay except for one i made which was retarded as i put too much pulut in it. Khai Sern had problem with the banana leaves as he kept on putting the pulut at the wrong side. Again another joke of the day. I ate two and packed some home for my family. When we moved on to making chocolate cookie, my mum called and moments later, i had to pack and bid my goodbyes. So my day ended like that while the others had much more fun after that until around 5 o' clock.

Join the crowd.Mine was again smaller than the others.Happy family.