.

I feel like a joke in life. I do poker face all the time. Am a joker and Batman's scared of me. Me thinks >:)

two years;

Heal The World - Micheal Jackson

Yeah. As you can see, I am listening to all MJ's song and watching This Is It showing on tv.

I can't believe it has been two years already, since the death of one of the greatest creation of God.

Michael Jackson, he was indeed, a genius and purely talented. That signature moonwalk of his? Genius.

Here are the two dance moves of his that I love so much and can't get enough of...

Oh look at the beautiful silhouette :)

Plus, I love the swag he puts on when he walks on stage during his songs <3

MJ's second death anniversary. Rest in peace.

A true fan of MJ,

PeiNing.

Feeling.

When We Die - Bowling For Soup

I feel a lot today. More than ever.

I was playing the piano, after a hiatus of almost a month. I thought it would definitely deteriorate, my playing, however, it turned out otherwise. It was as if my fingers have minds and memories of their own, running so swiftly through the black and white keys.
Song after song I played, without a pause in between. It was incredibly nice, for once, I loved my playing. Till one point, I made a mistake and subsequently everything comes to a halt. I tried to pick myself up from the mess but to no avail. So I was sitted there, hands rested on the keys, eyes staring blankly at the empty music rack.
This had my mind racing. I thought, maybe its just like relationships, started off sweet, smooth and spontaneous, then things get rocky in the middle, then finally boom! Gone. My heart sank to the thought. Why does it always have to be like that? It wasn't a very long pause, but a mind can think so incredulously fast you wouldn't know. I picked my thoughts up and throw them into the temporary mind trash can like a good girl would, picked up a phrase and continued with my playing. It ended well enough to deserve a standing ovation. I thought I could be a script writer, a movie director and the actor of my own movie! I always think that, its called the self-serving bias I guess, thinking I'm all good and probably, the best duh.
In fact I'm not. And I feel inferior because of that most of the time. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it anyways. Oh how much this post contradicts with the previous one. As I have said, I have one hell of a contradicting mind, didn't I?

Still healing from the hole in my mouth. That makes it so much more holey, or holy if you prefer :P
Eating with my head tilted to one side is kinda cute... and annoyingly tiring! It is effortful :'(

Till I grasp on to the writing spree again. Shall resume to my music and 1421 book.

LeePeiNing *:)

Hopeless.

Hero - Mariah Carey

Sometimes I have this contradicting feeling building up tension inside me. Oh let me tell you, it can be so deafeningly intense that it clogs up my mind and clouds up my senses. Don't you have it too?

Of course, when there is input, there has to be an output. Imagine a sine graph all the way. That is how my emotions go about. Building up, peak + explode, great fall, devastated, slowly picking myself up again, being normal for a moment, building up, peak + explode... you get it. Here's a graph from the internet for your reference in case you want to relate to me better.

Just moments ago I posted up a random tweet (partially related to my emotion then) "If I ever kill myself, you are dying first." and life_coach_bot (whoever that was) retweeted my tweet and told me not to do it (not to kill myself in case you don't get it). Wow. Do I really sound so depressed like I am going to kill myself any time soon?

I am really sorry if my depressing tweets (which sometimes are really random tweets) create discomfort.

...

Just Stand Up - Many singers

I am not going to lie about some facts of life. And now I'm speaking about karma. You know? People always say "karma is a bitch" and some "karma is a bitch if you are one". 

Truly it is. Nobody is perfect. So everybody makes mistakes and karma will come back and bite everybody's ass. So why be afraid?

Live life people!

Here's a piece of advice : If you want to do something, you have got to take it all the way. If you fall, fall hard. Because when you get up in the end, you will earn name and respect and become a true fighter. At the end of the day, you might even be someone great!

So what are you waiting for? Stop hesitating and put your thoughts into actions! Nope I did not ask you to go ahead and kill that person you hate all your life though. Have fun :)

Woo... As this comes into shuffle Have A Nice Day by Bon Jovi, indeed have a great one!

EvelynLee *:)

The day I extracted my wisdom tooth.

And this song shuffles into my playlist

Tragedy - Beegees

No I didn't cheat it really did start playing when I start writing

The morning I extracted my wisdom tooth more like it.

So, I woke up in the morning to the same song I wake up to every time when I set my alarm.

I absolutely hate it when we fought the night before and I go to bed feeling mad yet waking up to our song the next morning. Sigh.

Went down stairs for breakfast, which was supposed to be very filling since I'll be pulling off my teeth and not able to eat for a while, I only ate two pieces of wholemeal bread. No appetite. Its Saturday morning, so I watched some cartoon obviously. Kim Possible namely. Brushed my teeth properly and changed into a red shirt. Ya know, red for blood spill. Coincidently, the few more people I met after that seem to be wearing red as well, my dad, the maid opposite of my house. Heck she was wearing red shirt and red pants. I almost got a heart attack thinking the world has gone wrong and today might just be the end of the world. I have great imagination. Like a child. The next thing that came across my mind was the red shirt army O.O

So I had my tooth pulled out. I absolutely hate the gag reflex. And now the bleeding won't stop :'(

Now nothing but waiting till it stops and the numbness to go away then the pain kicks in and FML.

Anyways, I camwhored a little with my tooth. Precious one. And here's my collection.

Yeah I collect all my teeth but four of them (my first time pulling teeth in a dentist clinic) because I didn't know we can keep our tooth :'(

If you're not a fan of these kind of stuff and even find it gory. Kindly leave this page immediately.

Yeah. I love my teeth so I collect them. Some broken into half but I put them together in the picture so you can see which are the broken ones :)

Till I meet the tooth fairy tonight! Shall be sleeping early.

PeiNing *:)

What's it like having a period?

My music playlist shuffles to...

We Belong Together - Mariah Carey

How is it like many will wonder. Especially males and yettoreachpuberty females. Well, this is an interesting question. Let me break it down for you if you care.

Disclaimer : This information is entirely based on accumulation of complains I receive from other female counterparts which may or may not apply to my own or to the general population so do not worry too much about it or if you care, leave this page immediately if you do not feel comfortable with this topic.
The 'I's in the below context not necessary refer to me, the first party.

The 'you's in the below context not necessary refer to you as well so don't be so paranoid or self-conscious.

First, you start getting cramps, on the first day of period especially. Not like the kind of bad normal cramps. It's 'HOLY **** SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD I WANT TO CURL UP IN A BALL AND DIE I HATE MY LIFE' cramps. You also get back pains. Or even feel weak in both your legs. It's not the worst, but it's just extremely uncomfortable and not fun to sleep with.

Blood also pours out of your vagina. And I'm not exaggerating when I say pour. Stand up, Niagara Falls coming out of a hole in your body. Cough, Niagara Falls. Sneeze, Niagara Falls. You also have to deal with the paranoia everyone will see because it soaked through your pants. To avoid this from happening, you either have to wear a diaper-type thing or shove something up your vagina and leave it there for hours. It doesn't feel good either. You still get the paranoia that comes along with it as well. Best advice for a girl having her menstruation: no bright colored pants or skirt especially white.

On top of it all, you're somehow angry, horny, depressed, hungry and in extreme pain all at the same time. And when you're on your period, it's the anger that you want to stab someone. Horny, Horny. You want to either die or eat everything in sight. And we have to do this for a week straight, once every month. Do the math, we have 12 out of the 52 weeks in a year... suffering -__-

(though my period seldom really cause much of a problem actually so I don't really understand how bad period can be)

So... Is that a good enough explanation?

Face it that's a life of a girl.

Hoping this doesn't offend anybody, I sign off with much pride.

EvelynL

Fly to the moon.

Thank You For The Music - ABBA

Whether it was flying to the moon or flying towards the moon, the feeling was indescribable. I can assure you that I was in awe. The moon was as captivating and as mesmerizing as the beauty of the legendary portrait of Mona Lisa. The anticipation eventually brings hope, as I stared hypnotically at the mysterious satellite. As it slowly disappeared from sight as the plane changed its course, my attention was drawn slowly towards the fading reflection of the moonlight on the strong aluminium wing. The impeccable masterpiece of God was worth the time for admiration, just like the creation of mankind by Michelangelo, the flawless piece of much appreciated and examined work of art that was buried deep down in the amazing structure of the sistine's chapel in the Vatican City. I could never imagined myself being drowned in such peaceful state of mind, as if i have reached a new state of enlightenment of life, a step closer to achieving nirvana maybe. It was a good drown however. If i ever want to kill myself, this should be it, just like the man, who was so in love with the beautiful scenery of the bay at Naples that he was willing to give up everything he owns just to have a good death there. It was a good death. Indeed.

Bringing back the dead to life,

PeiNing.

today.

today, you came over to my place just to see me. oh how surprised i was to see you at my front gate when i opened the door. not to mention how i was expecting your arrival any time yet you manage to surprise me just like that :)

today, you pulled tantrum at me. at a moment i felt sorry and helpless. then i really felt like crying cause i felt that you were genuinely upset. i held back my tears. it appeared as if i was pulling back a tantrum to get you to talk to me, but my heart was actually aching inside with tears running about in my sockets :'(

today, we played card games that reminded me of the times before we got together. oh how we played that game you thought i was not good at, which i actually always play by luck without any strategy. and when i won our first ever game played against each other, you smiled at me, amazed at my so called hidden talent. i love that smile of yours. it still melts my heart till this very day :')

today, we played another game you taught me in Starbucks about almost ten months ago from today. i obviously lost, because somehow lady luck was never with me whenever i play this game. you named the punishment i dread so much with life, but because you love me, you won't do it on me although i lost both the games ;')

today, cuddling with you means the world to me. with me lying on your arms, with your body heat to warm balance the cold i was feeling, i fell asleep soundly to the angelic scent of your perfume. i fell asleep soundly to the beautiful rhythm of your calm heartbeat. how i sigh to that memorable moment when i fell into dreamland :)

today, knowing how much i am an Elmo fiend, you bought me a whole collection of Elmo themed products. of course, i jumped with joy to the sight of those. and you appeared wearing an Elmo shirt. so it was me, skipping my way to meet your warm hug, something you named panda hug ;)

today, knowing how much i love hugs, you gave me one long one before we bid goodbyes. because i will miss you so much when we are apart, you kiss me long enough for the gentle touch to linger on my mind. long enough to last me till i next see you ^^

today, i stayed outside even after i lost sight of you around the corner, seeing your perfect figure walk out of my sight. because somehow i knew you will drive pass my gate once more so i waited. waited for you to prove me right. oh how you should see the joy in me when you really did in the end. with that charming wave of yours, you can beat Prince William with the mesmerizing charm of yours :D

today, i jumped quickly into the couch where we were lying together at to sniff your scent right from the pillow you lay on. hugging the pillow yet so tight while imagining your presence remained right there beside me, i fell asleep once again, with that smile carved on my face :)

today, i think you are really delectable and sexy when you played with words yet mean every single one of them. oh how you told me not to worry and give everything to you and you will settle it. it made me feel all mushy inside with the amazing feeling of how protective you are over me :')

today, i truly had my wish come true when you told me to leave the wish for myself. little did you know that i already had mine, and it was you. the beautiful you. the you i cannot get enough of

today, just like any other days, i will go to sleep, by imagining you by my side *:)

lovely,

ning

maliciously pleasurable.

This month has been a naughty one for me. I admite I deserve some spanking in the buttocks.

Highlands getaway was a complete blast. Not to mention some creepy encounter in the midst of all the fun. Some alcohol can really kickstart something. Well, it at least, shed some new light into this relationship, giving new hope and insight. Something I wouldn't forget.

Well, just some little things that you do, are enough, more than enough, to make me all mushy inside. You give me butterflies with the loving care. Gentle, as much as you can pick me up with one hand with much ease. Oh how strong you can be, yet how soft you are around me, so as to make sure you don't bruise me with one touch

.

The adventure behind a normal date. The ropes, the nets, the flying, the bruises. I would say, not as extreme as I thought it would be, but just sufficient to satisfy my wild heart for extreme sports. Something close to my nature, a monkey in heart.

Here's to something I cherish.

Something to keep nightmares away.

Toodleloo~

Tonight, I'm walking alone.

Because I know tomorrow, I won't be.

there goes.

Unbroken - Katherine McPhee

It was the 1st of May. It seems like it was yesterday. But hey! Today is the 15th already. Creepy how time flies pass like that. I'm totally in denial. Not to mention how much I slack in blogging these days heh.

Went out with the girls on Saturday and I realized, they are one of the many reasons why I don't want to move on. As Amanda said, she and Cass stuck on almost immediately since day one. Me? Only on the second semester before I slowly got to know Amanda as a person and gradually accepted her as my close friends and now? Beyond describably close :)

It was in the first semester where I knew her as one of the brightest students with a very clear mind on her goals. Need not say, the scented girl. She almost turned me into a dog as I uncontrollably find myself closing on to her and start sniffing her. Whether it was her shampoo, body lotion or the soap powder that she uses, she just smells like vanilla sunshine *likes*

She was the one whom I talk my heart out, even the one whom I feel natural with. With all the telepathy going on (sometimes I do wonder is it cause I have no sense while she does and hence the telepathy) which enable me to associate even better with her. And the Elmo craze I picked up especially this semester, I just love how she plays along with me all the time and makes me feel like a kid again.

Thank you, Amanda Panda!! :) :) :)

,

As for Cassandra. I got close to her at first because we both shared one similarity - Kiasu. Well, mainly was because we had siblings who were previously in HELP and hence, heard many bad things about how the LAN classes become full almost immediately after registering opens, we ended up in college superb early in the morning, even before the registry opens, to register it. Need not say, one of the first to register for LAN class. It was hilarious.

In our first semester, Cass was the one with the nail polish fiend. Always changing colors and very into coloring her nails. It was cute. Then due to difference in major, we were not in the same classes anymore until last semester for Philosophy. Nevertheless, our bond never break just because of that. We still go out on lunch breaks together :)

The girls. I wish we had more time together before going off to different paths, to pursue our dreams. The girls. I wish.

Yours truly,

theElmocraze