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Feeling.

When We Die - Bowling For Soup

I feel a lot today. More than ever.
I was playing the piano, after a hiatus of almost a month. I thought it would definitely deteriorate, my playing, however, it turned out otherwise. It was as if my fingers have minds and memories of their own, running so swiftly through the black and white keys.
Song after song I played, without a pause in between. It was incredibly nice, for once, I loved my playing. Till one point, I made a mistake and subsequently everything comes to a halt. I tried to pick myself up from the mess but to no avail. So I was sitted there, hands rested on the keys, eyes staring blankly at the empty music rack.
This had my mind racing. I thought, maybe its just like relationships, started off sweet, smooth and spontaneous, then things get rocky in the middle, then finally boom! Gone. My heart sank to the thought. Why does it always have to be like that? It wasn't a very long pause, but a mind can think so incredulously fast you wouldn't know. I picked my thoughts up and throw them into the temporary mind trash can like a good girl would, picked up a phrase and continued with my playing. It ended well enough to deserve a standing ovation. I thought I could be a script writer, a movie director and the actor of my own movie! I always think that, its called the self-serving bias I guess, thinking I'm all good and probably, the best duh.
In fact I'm not. And I feel inferior because of that most of the time. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it anyways. Oh how much this post contradicts with the previous one. As I have said, I have one hell of a contradicting mind, didn't I?

Still healing from the hole in my mouth. That makes it so much more holey, or holy if you prefer :P
Eating with my head tilted to one side is kinda cute... and annoyingly tiring! It is effortful :'(

Till I grasp on to the writing spree again. Shall resume to my music and 1421 book.


LeePeiNing *:)

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