If We Ever Meet Again by Katy Perry ft Timberland

Ironic, perhaps this is. Common, perhaps this is. Overrated, perhaps this is.
Heck I'm still going to write about it.

As a new year is approaching, 2012, and some say the year when the world is coming to an end, still everybody talks about creating a new year's resolution, everybody talks about a chance to a fresh start, a new beginning, a new chapter, bla bla bla (you can pretty much sense the negativity in this post already. you're wrong).

The past year, I didn't expect myself to gain as much as I expected from the previous year. I did feel myself growing up, not much physically but mentally. A common saying would be - when you study abroad, you will have a whole new experience, see so much to learn from and grow up from within. I thought it would be a cliché. Nonetheless, I was rather taken aback by the outcome

Of course, the year started by all the crazy things applying for universities in the US. I would say I have never done such a thing and that got my hands, fingers and brain nerves all tangled up in the process. When that part of the chapter was over, I felt the HUGE relief and I could finally exhale to a never-ending exhalation that I pushed out all the air I could from my lungs. Then, I started choking on another complicated chapter. It is true that nothing comes easy.
True that I had heaps of fun after my last semester at HELP ended that I went off to an adventurous backpack trip to Europe with my family and several other road trips in Malaysia. Next thing I know was that the universities were starting to send their replies and me getting to know that I have gotten accepted into all of the universities that I have applied to. What a waste of time and money if I were to know that getting accepted into these universities will be easier than expected.
Deciding on the university to go to wasn't easy at all. Loads of things to take into consideration. In the end, I landed my choice on a university located in the peaceful suburbs near the Adirondack mountains approximately 7 hours up North from New York City close to the border of Canada at Montreal side. Preparation to come to US seemed so surreal at that time.
Also, it changed a great deal of who I was, a well protected chick who remained under the wings of my lovely parents for many years. Finally, I was preparing to take flight. Each step I took, each attempt I made did not go as well as I would like it to be. Being the emotional self, of course, I broke down. I remember locking myself in the room, plunged into the bed and cried my pillow wet. Oh how hard I cried, till my head was dizzy, till I hyperventilated, till I see little sparks suspended in the middle of my vision, till I needed oxygen so badly. Then, comes papa to the rescue. Talked me through all my sceptical view points. At least I didn't decide to give up there

The Summer went past so swiftly and unsoundly, from which, I outgrew some of my fears. When it was time for me to leave, I left, almost quietly and calmly, leaving behind the nest where I was born, grew up and learned from, leaving behind the people I love, the memories built. It was all nostalgic, but I knew from the bottom of my heart that it was all for the better. I left with a determined heart. I left strong, shedding scarcely a tear on the aeroplane when I gazed out the tiny window to a golden sunset.
Here I am in the Minneapolis, Minnesota, enjoying the winter break after a confused semester that past. Did not regret my decision to go to SUNY Plattsburgh, did not regret the past semester. In fact, I ended the semester with a bang, scoring myself a proud 4.0 and made it into the Dean's List. So what? Most importantly, I enjoyed my Intro to Public Speaking class with Nora and my classmates. Even though the class was small, the nerve to give speech was always there. Nevertheless, I am proud to announce that I have finally managed to overcome the extreme nerves before giving a speech. You might wonder how? I wonder too, but all I could say was that with sufficient preparation, provided with clear guidelines on the process to preparing a speech was crucial. In the last class of the semester, we were required to give an impromptu speech based on random objects that we drew from the plastic bag that Nora walked around the class holding. I think I did surprisingly well. Nora agreed as well, said after all my speeches throughout the semester especially the persuasive speech, that I was an extremely good speaker and hope that I would be able to join her public speaking team. An A++ I scored for my persuasive speech, according the Nora, a score that she seldom even give unless the speaker is incredibly impressive. I should be pretty damn good I guess.
College Writing class was another challenge. I broke down in the middle of the semester, totally confused and lost, clueless about what my lecturer wants. Till now at the end of the semester, I wouldn't say that I clearly know what she wants, but am slowly figuring out closer to the end of the last class. Really, she was a hand full. At the beginning of the semester, I was seeing my A in that class through an open cylinder. After going through all the hard work and tough time finding my way out the complicated maze, I saw my A through a labyrinth of journey. Planning to be a tutor for next semester's College Writing class in hope to earn some extra dough.
For other subjects like Gen Psych Lab and Psych Stats, I wouldn't say that they were easy, but they were manageable for me and I put a little more effort to make sure that I secure my grades. Would probably say that the results were unnecessarily strong, but still glad and proud of myself

As we are turning the page to a new year, I would just like to say that life, does not necessarily have to start all over from the previous year. Somehow, 1st of January is just another day to me and the day goes on. So if you feel the need to change your life at any point of the year, please do so. You certainly do not have to wait for a new year to do so. However, many would like to go with it since the year and the semester has gone by and for some of you, the school year has ended. Just want to point out that it is unnecessary to wait for a new year to change yourself to be a better person than before.
Also, some of you may have the habit of making a new year's resolution. Or, some of you are probably starting to pick it up due to the hype about it. Please please please, make one that is realistic to you, make one that you think is achievable and make sure that you follow your heart when making one. If you have a very ambitious dream that you don't think is achievable within a year, don't be too disappointed! Set a short term goal that you can achieve that clears a path towards your long term goal! Of course also, resolutions are something that you can always make any time in the year, not only during new year. It is just like a to-do list. Once you have completed one, check it off your list. You'll never know the extreme satisfying feeling that you get whenever you get to check something off your list. For starters, like me, I'll always stick with a big goal in mind, but make a small list in Note on my phone that I can check any time any where so that I make sure I do whatever that is necessary to achieve my final goal

I know this is a lot, but I am going to need you to trust me just this once.

Have a blessed and awesome new year everyone!
2012 may be the end, but just live on anyway. You'll never know the future.

Signing off for the last time in year 2011,

with much love, x

Pei Ning


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