a slice off the flesh;

Way Back Into Love - Hugh Grant & Hayley Bennett

Is it just me or I prone to get hurt when I use sharp things? Today, while I was skinning the orange, my middle finger got in the way and the skin at the tip of it came off. It didn't hurt any bit at all at first but I was bleeding profusely. I ran water over the awkward opening to get rid of the blood and continued with the previous.

When I began doing other things including attempting to play the piano, the pain kicks in. I couldn't even play it properly. I ended up putting the music sheets away and closed the piano with much frustration mixed with mild rage stirring up in me. When I take a shower or wash my hands, the series of stinging pain attack my wound. I couldn't even wash my hair properly. I feel handicapped just with that minuscule cut. Every single thing that I do will certainly bring pain to that wound. Need not say, even typing poses as a problem. For hurting myself, I feel so incredibly, utterly useless.

.

Anyway, a gathering with MeiChien and YiXuan was great since we haven't met each other for at least five months already and MeiChien is back to Malaysia from China to do her UK Visa. It was certainly an awesome catch up session plus, making YiXuan and MeiChien to remember the times they shared back then in a tuition.

A long six hours chat didn't seem any bit sufficient at all as when both of them left for home at 7pm, we promised each other another outing not only to watch movie but to chat more.

I was glad that I called for this outing to meet up with them both even though they weren't sure if they knew each other but it seemed to me after seeing them talk to each other, they can really click with each other. Thumbs up for myself! :)

,

Training for the fair going on this weekend was held at night. In the midst of all the adult discussions, I couldn't help but to feel utmost inferior.

Myriad questions flashed past my mind and I struggled to muster strength to find my way through the blanket of shock that muffled my thinking. It was like the weight in my mind was casting an actual shadow on my vision and hearing as I wasn't actually concentrating on the diagrams scribbled over the board nor listening to the speaker. Instead, I was preoccupied with ideas on how to close a sale.

This went on forever even when I'm in my comfort sheets trying to get some sleep.

Just moments ago, I actually tried practicing it and realized I didn't actually know how to convey the idea and ended up tongue tied with lots of hesitations. I should really try harder..

Nevermind, tomorrow. Tomorrow will do.

Last Rant: I feel like a pimple producing machine. Stupid.

Right now, the song Way Back Into Love is on replay mode and I am indeed, planning not to get it off my head anywhere soon. I just love how it is so melodious and the vocals fit perfectly to compliment each other. The soothing feel that song renders nothing but tranquility in the midst of my anxiety and troubled feelings.

Wish you were here...

Lovely.

Explanatory Conundrum.

Sweet Memories - Olivia Ong

It is freaky how time flies even when you are doing nothing. Not to mention how its speed is doubled or tripled when you are working your ass off some assignments or hard coring for an exam

.

Disclaimer: Rants ahead. I repeat. Rants ahead.

All these while, I realized that many questions about life, love, relationships, friendships have been tossed towards me constantly like its never-ending. I guess my fellow friends see me as a good reference point. Just so you know, I myself is confused and dumb-founded with the problems I am facing. I used to think why and how some people's life can be so complicated and miserable with countless choices to make and problems to solve. I used to think that I would rather be dead than to be like them, so stressed up and screwed up.

Sometimes, I find myself telling them just what I feel and think is logical and appropriate for solving the situations bothering my friends, not knowing if I would be able to do the same when things don't work out well for me. I desperately need somebody who is capable of giving me solutions and at the same time, be there for me when I'm down. It is like I don't already possess the ability of putting myself out of the commotion in a third party's point of view and judge according to my instincts. It is too easy to tell people how and what to do, but it certainly takes much determination to perform it yourself. Well, it is so true that talking is easier than putting words into action. At times, I was so scared that I might ruin the whole situation with my despicable attitude that I can only sit and cry when my feelings finally burst out. Sudden surge of adrenaline, in the mean time would just lead me to more fidgeting.

Urgh... feelings like that sucks.

I hate.

I loathe.

I despise.

,

Holiday hasn't been going well for me. Besides purchasing a few outfits I adore too much that its lethal, every other days were left for rotting at home. Soon, later in the afternoon, I will be meeting MeiChien and YiXuan for a get-together lunch. Looking forward to it. Owh... And I need to do some studying. So much for joining the sales team for the fair happening on this coming Friday, Saturday and Sunday at MidValley Megamall. So if anyone of you are interested in knowing what I am going to sell, come on and have a look. :)

Opps, sorry for doing sales over here already. I'll cut it off here. Period.

Today will be a long long day. At least, much more productive than usual. <3

...

Being in love is when you replay the conversations you had with your prince charming at the back of your mind over and over again after saying goodbyes to one another. What more? You read the messages he sent to you over and over again yet never get sick of it. This is love. And you will crave for more yet never need to worry how it will make you fat at the end of the day like how chocolate does to your body.

Signing out feeling contended.

EvelynLee.

Bon Odori 2010.

Shut Up & Kiss Me - Orianthi 

:)

paper notes;

When was the last time I went to this annual event? Too long... So I decided to return to take a look around

,

I was never fast in wearing yukata until that day (17.7.2010). A talk at 222 dragged on till I barely had time to get home and prepare. Took me only about 15 minutes to look good in my pink yukata. The long walk down the road to the stadium brutally murdered my feet. That wooden slippers I was wearing was definitely not a pair of comfortable footwear. I wished I wore my orange flip flops instead. Alone, I contacted Sook Yan to locate her position so that I could go ahead and look for her. Man, it was hard as hell in the midst of the sea of ecstatic people.

Justin spammed my inbox with messages about how he got lost and was really scared. He made me really nervous as I could do nothing to help. He made it there in the end anyway...

There were nothing special besides the overwhelming number of people present then and of course, beautifully dressed people in colorful variety of yukata. The dances on the stage situated right in the middle of the stadium, went on and on along with the music. They seemed to have repetitive dance moves, though I did not pay much attention to it. I was busy hunting down small kids to take picture with. It was epic how our attempts to get those chubby faces to snap a picture with us turned out. They actually looked fragile and vulnerable beside us. I can totally imagine how their small legs would shake furiously beneath that sheer sheets of fabrics over, which were only capable of providing the littlest psychological protection from the strangers aside. Some even cringed so quickly to hide behind their mummy's legs as we approached as if it was a normal reflex action taking place. Adorable. *feigns evil laughter*

Bumped into Adri, Hazim and Hadi, some high school dudes. Adri looked laid back in his cool wool fedora. It was weird seeing them hanging around without the presence of Riyal. They used to stick to each other back then in high school as if they were glued together.

That event ended sooner than expected. People streamed out from the stadium. It was a rather chaotic situation

Did I mention how glad I was to be able to meet Sook Yan again? After many unsuccessful plans to meet up after parting ways, finally... I'm rather satisfied. :)

,

Today I browsed through my sister's phone book and saw that she had Jay Sean's phone number in it. I bet she took it down from one of Jay's tweets. Talk about celebrity crush. She beats me in that. :D

Vanilla Twilight's music video gives me goosebumps. <3

Love, Evelyn.

Internet ftw :)

Kissin You - Miranda Cosgrove

I switched my streamyx to the COOL UNI PACK.

Apparently, this is the best deal streamyx has got to offer apart from being only available to first and second year university students and contract period of only two years. As for the netbook, it has only an atom processor, so it ain't the cream of the crop but hey, cheaper price for extra goodies! Ain't that the best deal ever? :D

.

Anyways,

its a long story from how I got to know about it to the day I got my internet connection back.

The point is, some idiot went to terminate my existing internet attached to my home's subline before this new streamyx attached to my home's mainline is activated. In other words, I initially DO NOT need to suffer from the no-internet-days like how the other applicants had to.

Geez, thanks to that IQ-below-average person who terminated my internet account, I suffered quite a lot.

But, thanks to him, I got almost a 100% concentration for my finals.

So, after almost a month without any internet connection, after making calls exceeding ten times to TM to complain, after having the kind installer to come and check on the stability of the ADSL line (which is not and that's why he can't do heck about it), after having the technician to check on the instruments out there at one of the tall poles, the internet is finally back.

The anxiety and high hopes invested in the early anticipation period eventually faded to a mild and an utterly trivial problem, which means I was almost immune to the effects of no internet.

,

On Wednesday,

as I was pampering myself by watching Korean drama series and munching some snacks, the doorbell rang and it was the technician. Soon after he left, the installer came to install and activate my streamyx. Everything happened so quickly in the blink of an eye. I was flabbergasted when I was told that everything was back to normal and I can use the internet again (I made a wish the previous day at 11.11am that I would be happy enough to get my internet back by the beginning of the new semester). Right now, I'm paying RM68 for 1Mbps, plus, the free Wi-Fi modem that they promised. Soon after, they will mail the free netbook by courier. How's that? Life's great all of a sudden.

Hence, I guess this explains the long hiatus from blogging. :)

Grey clouds are gone, blew away by the wind, replaced with white ones, complimenting the sunny blue sky. Something about a sunny day, keeping the clouds away. Oh, how I love how metaphors insinuate things

.

&because you make me feel like living and dying at the same time.

That's bliss. That's love.

EvelynLee

Fete de la Musique 2010.

Airplanes - B.O.B ft Hayley Williams

It has been a while since Fete de la Musique. The only reason to the delay of this post is obvious. So I guess that it is still unnecessary for me to go into any indulgent explanations.

Fete de la Musique is an annual music event organized to celebrate music. When I say music, I mean every genre you possibly know or may not. Keeping to the 8-year-old tradition, Malaysia becomes part of this worldwide celebration, while giving opportunities to local amatuer and professional musicians to showcase their musical talent without discrimination of background, style and experience. Plus, it is a music festival held in more than 300 countries worldwide, happening on the same day - the day of pure summer solstice

,

I initially signed up for a whole day shift from 8am till 10pm, not a clue about what this event has got to offer. I thought, maybe this is a golden opportunity for me to burn my way-too-much internship hours. I stepped out of the car onto the hard bitumen pavement where my canvas shoes gripped on, just to have a series of drum test noise bombard both ears. I exhaled heavily and immediately shrugged off the negative thoughts a pessimist like me can come up with then headed towards the red booth set up about a hundred meters away. I sauntered pass the Volkswagen showroom and managed to have some envious moments. Shared some light moments with Reuben and the others who came along soon while watching some of the bands stepped up to do sound tests.

The string of back to back performance which lasted till about 11pm began at 10.30 in the morning. As expected, the morning performances did not attract any crowd at all. The shoppers merely took glances at the performers on stage as they strutted by. As I was in charge of floor managing, my boss instructed me to go around explaining to people what the event was about, or even wheedle people into joining the fun out of desperation. The scorching sun was one of the pullbacks of the event, I mean, who is willing to risk standing under the hot sun just to watch some random people perform? No doubt, some of the pretty performers with pretty voice and awesome, undeniable musical talents were able to hold on to a number of shoppers for a short moment, the other average ones failed to do so.

I hung around with the UOL's first year students, Foundation, HMC, A Levels and some of BComm students under the shades at HELP's booth. Next to us was the Digi's booth (Digi was the sponsor for this event). We were busy munching on the free popcorns provided by Digi while admiring the Digi girls' pretty Converse shoes. Was fantasizing while waiting for time to pass.

Bands and individual performers went up stage and came back down. Busiest people were the backstage people. Did some surveys and found out that they have some serious stuffs going on back there. Lots of coordinating, instruments check plus phoning up performers and ensuring their attendance. Of course, I wished to help but clumsy people like me was afraid that I might screw everything up in the end, so I politely apologized for not being able to lend some help. (:

Things began to heat up when the shift changes around 3o'clock in the afternoon. Yet, the crowd wasn't enough for us to begin our work. So we continued maundering stories, one after another while cheering after every performance. A quarter of the cheerleading team Blitzers from BU4 came to perform their short yet skillful routine as well! Loving the blazing charisma and energetic movements out there. Not to forget, HengLing, for treating the girls ice-cream sundae from McD. It was surely a perfect dessert to satisfy our cravings in such hot day

,

As the golden sun set for the day to some twilight moments, spotlight shone to highlight the performances on stage. My friend, Clement,

who was the drummer for his band - Pop The Cherry, took the stage and rocked it, just like how the other bands did. Apparently, his drum stick flew out of his hands accidentally when he waved it but he made it so cool looking as if it was a planned thing. Good thing he brought an extra because it had happened before in his previous performance. The crowd size was gradually increasing in number and of course, there were some rare sight of some crazy audiences and lead singers of bands, shaking their heads so vigorously like their heads were detaching from their necks. Felt like they were on crack, Ecstacy or some sort. Freaky. At that time, crowd control was all about preventing these psychopaths from going over the top and crashing the stage. It wouldn't be a beautiful sight if they did.

As the night veiled over the entire area, I grew used to the loud, heavy metal musics above my average tolerant level. I imagined how my eardrums were less flexible and insensitive to sounds right above inaudible level. Yet, that did not keep me from getting all pumped up during the event. I was shouting and cheering, easily blending into the crazy crowd out there, except for the fact that the shirt I was wearing was chilly red. I actually silently hoped to lose my voice the next day, but as usual, things I wished for never come true. Oh well, that was one frivolous and weird wish anyway.

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The night ended well with me trying to calm myself down. Kiss The Rain by Yiruma was on replay mode. I fell asleep with much ease eventually.

Love.

14.7.2010

If We Ever Meet Again - Katy Perry ft Timbaland

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The day began at 12am. Duh... I was still up, studying. Need not say. Psychology paper was then, 14 hours away and I still yet to finish up the topic in the exam syllabus. I pondered how I would be able to sleep by now if I wasn't so confident and laid back in the afternoon after the Sociology paper previously. I kept track of the time, rushing to cram all the theories into my pea-sized brain. I was screwed. I called for the night at 2.30am thinking that I still have the morning to do the cramming. (what self-denial... pfffttt) Off to bed! -cuddles-

.

Woke up at 9 to the beautiful harmonica of Shakira's Gypsy. Again, thinking I was able to finish just in time before entering the exam hall after doing my indulgent calculations, I took my time and regretted for doing so. I panicked listening to Elza explaining the theories that I have not revised and obviously couldn't recall in such detail. It was just minutes away from 2pm. Confidence level shot down to minimum. Pity. During exam, Amanda, who was sitting beside me, did her exam paper at such fast speed that freaked me out. Confidence level - nil. The paper was tricky. I knew I was done for. Time constrain. Strict and hot tempered invigilator. Everything seemed to worsen with my lack of study. Eventually, time was up. I dragged my footsteps down to LC into Justin's car and off we went to CineLeisure for a movie - Despicable Me in 3D. Special thanks to Justin (if you are reading this, Justin, you'll know why). Ice-cream worked well in cheering me up. So it did too before the hilarious movie ahead. The small yellow characters, which speak Gibberish, never fail to bring a smile to my face every time they speak. Just too funny. Love the "daddy's" accent too! The small girl's fluffy unicorn! (quote from Justin) OMG ITS SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIEEE! Hahaha...

The night was ordinary. No internet, so I resorted to watching the idiot box, switching channels acting all like a potato couch. Not productive at all. What could I possibly do? NOTHING. So there you go. A day to remember.

Today was bliss in some way. Cheers to happy feelings!

&because when you pull me by the arm so that I turn to face you, I always imagine the best things.

EvelynLee.

so this is... Love

I'll Move On - Olivia Ong

I looked at the calender. My heart sank.

July. Its July already.

Goodbye June... I miss you heaps.

This is love: When you notice someone's absence and hate that absence more than anything. More, even, than you love his presence. <3

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Note to self: Good things happen to me trice in a blue moon. I hope today, the moon is blue. *self embraces*

Lovely, EvelynLee.