忐忑。

Hello. I am still alive.

It happened all too quickly. Adrenaline was rushing. Despite the full blown activation of the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous System, all that filled my ears were the urgency of the honking by the culprit and the roaring sound of the word "shit" in my mind. Milliseconds after, the car was rocking vigorously back and forth side ways. The car came this close, this close to flipping over.

My left arm came first into contact with the side of the car, leaving it swollen and bruised now. It hurts.

My mind, is constantly reminded of the scientific term "coupe" and "contra-coupe" that means brain damage on first contact and secondary contact following the impact.

My heart races when I have a flash back of the incident.

There were five of us in the car, yet, I was the only person who saw everything the clearest.

That blue car was coming at us at full speed. The driver himself knew that he wouldn't make it in time to brake and didn't bother to, expecting us to do it. We were already more than halfway through turning. In spite daddy's last second accelerating, we couldn't make it. The bumper was destroyed. Kaput.

It was an experience nevertheless, just not a very fun one. Car being hit twice in five days? Both within the short time frame that I am back home from US? What luck is this?

Signing out from Singapore, barely recovering from the fever yesterday,

Pei Ning

being you,

One Sweet Love by Sara Bareilles

that journey of self-discovery

that journey of discovering what I truly want

.

You know how I feel about people who don't even bother to try? It is like:

"Why would you look down on people who work hard to achieve their goals? The people you should be looking down upon are those who are like you, who don't bother to try, yet at the same time, criticise and patronise people who end up to be more successful than yourself because of their efforts."

Honestly, ultimately, you live your life for yourself. If you want to be as competent as others, do it! Work hard towards it! Better yourself! Don't just sit there and expect rewards to come. Don't just sit there waiting for each shooting star to cut across the sky so that you can make a wish upon it because before you know it, you would be too preoccupied with admiring the beauty of those and fail to make a wish yourself.

People wish for miracles for happen. It does happen once in a while, so don't be completely discouraged by the realistic world. Nevertheless, miracles don't always happen without catalyst. You are the catalyst. You hear people saying "I'm trying."

How about changing your approach and say "I'm working on it." instead?

Trying does not show effort. Working on something is showing effort and effort is an indispensable element towards success.

"Genius is 1 percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration." - Thomas Edison

Feed on your motivation, not procrastination!

Once in a while is fine. At least you know that you won't burn yourself out.

Yours,

Pei Ning