today.

today, you came over to my place just to see me. oh how surprised i was to see you at my front gate when i opened the door. not to mention how i was expecting your arrival any time yet you manage to surprise me just like that :)

today, you pulled tantrum at me. at a moment i felt sorry and helpless. then i really felt like crying cause i felt that you were genuinely upset. i held back my tears. it appeared as if i was pulling back a tantrum to get you to talk to me, but my heart was actually aching inside with tears running about in my sockets :'(

today, we played card games that reminded me of the times before we got together. oh how we played that game you thought i was not good at, which i actually always play by luck without any strategy. and when i won our first ever game played against each other, you smiled at me, amazed at my so called hidden talent. i love that smile of yours. it still melts my heart till this very day :')

today, we played another game you taught me in Starbucks about almost ten months ago from today. i obviously lost, because somehow lady luck was never with me whenever i play this game. you named the punishment i dread so much with life, but because you love me, you won't do it on me although i lost both the games ;')

today, cuddling with you means the world to me. with me lying on your arms, with your body heat to warm balance the cold i was feeling, i fell asleep soundly to the angelic scent of your perfume. i fell asleep soundly to the beautiful rhythm of your calm heartbeat. how i sigh to that memorable moment when i fell into dreamland :)

today, knowing how much i am an Elmo fiend, you bought me a whole collection of Elmo themed products. of course, i jumped with joy to the sight of those. and you appeared wearing an Elmo shirt. so it was me, skipping my way to meet your warm hug, something you named panda hug ;)

today, knowing how much i love hugs, you gave me one long one before we bid goodbyes. because i will miss you so much when we are apart, you kiss me long enough for the gentle touch to linger on my mind. long enough to last me till i next see you ^^

today, i stayed outside even after i lost sight of you around the corner, seeing your perfect figure walk out of my sight. because somehow i knew you will drive pass my gate once more so i waited. waited for you to prove me right. oh how you should see the joy in me when you really did in the end. with that charming wave of yours, you can beat Prince William with the mesmerizing charm of yours :D

today, i jumped quickly into the couch where we were lying together at to sniff your scent right from the pillow you lay on. hugging the pillow yet so tight while imagining your presence remained right there beside me, i fell asleep once again, with that smile carved on my face :)

today, i think you are really delectable and sexy when you played with words yet mean every single one of them. oh how you told me not to worry and give everything to you and you will settle it. it made me feel all mushy inside with the amazing feeling of how protective you are over me :')

today, i truly had my wish come true when you told me to leave the wish for myself. little did you know that i already had mine, and it was you. the beautiful you. the you i cannot get enough of

today, just like any other days, i will go to sleep, by imagining you by my side *:)

lovely,

ning

maliciously pleasurable.

This month has been a naughty one for me. I admite I deserve some spanking in the buttocks.

Highlands getaway was a complete blast. Not to mention some creepy encounter in the midst of all the fun. Some alcohol can really kickstart something. Well, it at least, shed some new light into this relationship, giving new hope and insight. Something I wouldn't forget.

Well, just some little things that you do, are enough, more than enough, to make me all mushy inside. You give me butterflies with the loving care. Gentle, as much as you can pick me up with one hand with much ease. Oh how strong you can be, yet how soft you are around me, so as to make sure you don't bruise me with one touch

.

The adventure behind a normal date. The ropes, the nets, the flying, the bruises. I would say, not as extreme as I thought it would be, but just sufficient to satisfy my wild heart for extreme sports. Something close to my nature, a monkey in heart.

Here's to something I cherish.

Something to keep nightmares away.

Toodleloo~

Tonight, I'm walking alone.

Because I know tomorrow, I won't be.

there goes.

Unbroken - Katherine McPhee

It was the 1st of May. It seems like it was yesterday. But hey! Today is the 15th already. Creepy how time flies pass like that. I'm totally in denial. Not to mention how much I slack in blogging these days heh.

Went out with the girls on Saturday and I realized, they are one of the many reasons why I don't want to move on. As Amanda said, she and Cass stuck on almost immediately since day one. Me? Only on the second semester before I slowly got to know Amanda as a person and gradually accepted her as my close friends and now? Beyond describably close :)

It was in the first semester where I knew her as one of the brightest students with a very clear mind on her goals. Need not say, the scented girl. She almost turned me into a dog as I uncontrollably find myself closing on to her and start sniffing her. Whether it was her shampoo, body lotion or the soap powder that she uses, she just smells like vanilla sunshine *likes*

She was the one whom I talk my heart out, even the one whom I feel natural with. With all the telepathy going on (sometimes I do wonder is it cause I have no sense while she does and hence the telepathy) which enable me to associate even better with her. And the Elmo craze I picked up especially this semester, I just love how she plays along with me all the time and makes me feel like a kid again.

Thank you, Amanda Panda!! :) :) :)

,

As for Cassandra. I got close to her at first because we both shared one similarity - Kiasu. Well, mainly was because we had siblings who were previously in HELP and hence, heard many bad things about how the LAN classes become full almost immediately after registering opens, we ended up in college superb early in the morning, even before the registry opens, to register it. Need not say, one of the first to register for LAN class. It was hilarious.

In our first semester, Cass was the one with the nail polish fiend. Always changing colors and very into coloring her nails. It was cute. Then due to difference in major, we were not in the same classes anymore until last semester for Philosophy. Nevertheless, our bond never break just because of that. We still go out on lunch breaks together :)

The girls. I wish we had more time together before going off to different paths, to pursue our dreams. The girls. I wish.

Yours truly,

theElmocraze

i am livid

i am livid and i hate myself am i thinking too much i dont know but this is totally ridiculous i think i am reasonable to think i am not wrong about this because who in the sane mind will think this is normal this is totally not acceptable and i am certainly not accepting this you certainly cannot blame me for this because you led me to thinking this despite me finding umpteen reasons to prove my thoughts wrong but you never gave me a chance you never gave me a break one time after another you have to do this to me i am not a toy and you have to know that i am a human with feelings i am a person with a mind to think for myself many times i chose to give up and in the end i did the otherwise i am livid i am livid i am livid i am livid i am livid i am livid i am livid i am livid i am livid i am livid and it will take forever for me to accept this fact that i a m n o t a t o y

the dreaded.

Say You're Sorry - Sara Bereilles

You know what I dread most? Is that at the last minute of the most important moment of your life that they have to cause a mess.

I felt like I was reliving history. Deja vu, literally.

This time, we took time out from the last minute cramming to meticulously evaluate the probability of the exam venue for ADP students. Of course, we were scared that we will have to run around like some runaway school kids. Its not fun. The most important thing before an exam is to keep your nerves calm. Having your heart palpitating madly is NOT doing any good with the nerve calming thing.

Gosh, as if they are trying to see if ADP students can endure the physical test and mental test. They are truly acting like they doubt our abilities. We have our limits too.

Anyway, this is just parts and partial of the whole deja vu thing. Its creepy.

For mid-term, I unfortunately have two back to back psych papers: one in the evening, next in the morning the next day.

This time, for finals, I had an early morning paper for Abnormal Psych and Developmental Psych paper the next day morning. Just like midterm, I studied for Ab Psych and barely touched Dev Psych. It was tragic in the end. Both papers were so frigging tough I am speechless at the end of the day.

Hmm... I guess I have survived the worst.

One very sentimental quote from the last page of Dev Psych textbook:

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure" - J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

Till my life begins. Gonna start playing the piano again. :)

Love, LeePeiNing.

Over and done with.

Finally. I'm just going to catch up more on sleeping and see what comes next.

Whatever comes, sleep is now my priority.

Oh, I can't wait for the royal wedding tomorrow. It is going to be great!

Till then.

dream dream dream...

Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO ft Lauren Bennett

I had a weird dream about deciphering ancient Egyptian codes and wall carvings to change the entire recorded History. Yeah it was my assignment and to do so, I was travelling everywhere to gather every piece of information. That lead me to this weird school with all my primary and high school friends but my dream stupidly showed only the faces of four of them. Among them were Khai Sern, Jo Keat, Abel and Zheng Hong. Weird because I haven't seen them in ages. Not to mention Yi Xuan, who was my amazing sidekick. Best buddies in real life as best partners in dream. One word : Awesome.

So then Khai Sern and Jo Keat were in this classroom of about eight. A small class indeed and the lecturer was teaching mechanics! Hahahah the subject Jo struggled at. Me think... Well, facts in dreams aren't always accurate.

And I went into this classroom to get Abel out and all the guys thought I was an elementary school kid because of the dark pinafore that was on me. But they were whistling and whispering all about me, bustling around in their chairs the whole time I was in the classroom so I guess I looked pleasant enough in my dream to be able to attract their attention :D

Then I went on hugging Abel, my kindergarten classmate for a very very long time. I guess the reason for this prolonged hugging was because I lost contact with him ever since we graduated from kindergarten and went our own paths till we bumped into each other again at Form 4 in a tuition class. Awkward we didn't even dare to make eye contact or initiate a conversation. But somehow we managed in the end, kudos to his cousin. Long story.

And weird enough, someone from that school I wasn't even studying in, nominated me to receive this government scholarship. I stared at the informatory paper. I think you can guess what I saw. But I was confused. Then I woke up, back to reality.

It was a nice dream though, to be able to 'meet' the people I miss a lot in that dream, albeit the incredibly weird storyline.

That's all. Back to studying. Exam tomorrow and the day after tomorrow then I'm so done.

Keep those fingers crossed girl.

PeiNing.

Definition of a bad day:

Better Off Alone - Katherine McPhee

1. rudely awakened

2. forced into chores

3. period

4. screwed up internet connection

5. being lied to

6. betrayed

7. abandoned

8. dejected

9. self-made unsatisfying breakfast due to lack of food at home

10. solitary

11. rain with profuse thunder and lightning

12. leak

13. disorientated

14. short attention span

15. sleepy

16. having a freak calling

17. cramps, bad cramps

18. mood swing

19. hot chills

20. sore throat

21. hungry

22. fought with daddy

23. no appetite

24. more cramps

25. weak

26, emo songs -> sombre -> tears

27. sleep

I hate days like this...

Nightmare.

Kickin' in with

Perfect - Pink

It was distasteful, the feelings I had to go through. The thick emotions of betrayal and disappointment.

As a message came in and my phone let out a cheerful jingle tone, I forced my eyelids open, heart stirring in a complete opposite direction. Hyperventilating with accelerated heart beat, palpitating wildly beneath my chest. Getting downstairs to open the door was a bitter struggle, yet the reassurance awaiting was irresistible. Just what I desperately needed at that moment of insecurity.

Emotions overflowed. True that people say hugs will definitely bring out the true feelings buried deep within an apparent strong soul. I proved myself wrong as I thought I could handle the overwhelming feelings that embraced my timid heart as I repetitively chanted the same old sentence every time I have a nightmare. Clearly, I was not convinced.

The presence of another beating heart in the quiet house gradually untangled the tight knots in my throat and my heart as I gasped for air in the midst of sobbing. Beads of tears trickled down the outlines of my cheeks, gave a warm and humid feeling I did not favor. Unanswered words of concern and loving strokes of the back were the things that proved the events in the nightmare wrong. Then gradually, I fell back to reality where I completely let myself off guard, and fell back into your love once more.

I'm glad you were there when I needed you the most.

I love you sweetheart.

xoxo

Because I love you I don't need another reason why...

Hiatus. Oh well. Here's a lil bout ADP.

Manic Monday - Relient K

In blogging, many will always come to a point where they feel that blogging has become a task or a mandatory routine that is an unpleasant necessity. I'm pretty sure this is my... *looks at fingers and starts counting* I lost count of the times I have experienced this. But this is certainly a post that tells dear readers that it is back! This horrible, atrocious feeling. Its back to haunt again!

Lets have a moment of silence...

...

..

.

April 1st, 2011

Okay. Here's brief post about ADP Mixer cum ( <-- WTF??) HELP 25th Anniversary pool party.

It was held at Royal Commonwealth Club located at Batai, walking distance from HELP.

Basically, it was great. Met some freshies, kinda awkward to wanna talk to some of them cause they are simply too shy and... conversationless. Clicked very well with James though, since we bonded a lot during Calculus class. We're officially like buddies now.

I thought I dressed up for this pool party. Really. I felt pretty that night, albeit not wearing any bikini under my outfit like what the others did. Some accessories I kept away for a long time, plus a normal red spaghetti strap and a bondi blue pareo as skirt will do. :)

The food was okay as usual. Performances were awesome. Loving the breakdance, popping and all the contemporary and dope dance moves. Plus, the magic show cum ( <-- WTF?) stand up comedy, awesome entertainment by Bighead and Ian, the music lecturer. They are just natural, so raw like they are born to entertain.

After everything in the agenda, here comes the getting wet and wild part. They just had to fulfill the theme of the party. So majority of the people, not to mention girls, were forced down the pool. So instead of getting thrown into it, I willingly took off my pareo and strutted towards the pool. Just when I was about to jump in, someone (either Sanjeev or Bighead) gave me a push and splash, there I bid goodbye to my dry self within spilt seconds.

Was shivering with cold in the pool but still played kapten ball for a while before I retired to dry land. It was fun. Hmm... got hit at the bridge of my nose by Mayuri when something happened and she hurt her gladys. Again. I think it'll survive.

Rest of the night was pretty much okay, drenched, intoxicated.

That's all for now!

Love, LeePeiNing