the dreaded.

Say You're Sorry - Sara Bereilles

You know what I dread most? Is that at the last minute of the most important moment of your life that they have to cause a mess.

I felt like I was reliving history. Deja vu, literally.

This time, we took time out from the last minute cramming to meticulously evaluate the probability of the exam venue for ADP students. Of course, we were scared that we will have to run around like some runaway school kids. Its not fun. The most important thing before an exam is to keep your nerves calm. Having your heart palpitating madly is NOT doing any good with the nerve calming thing.

Gosh, as if they are trying to see if ADP students can endure the physical test and mental test. They are truly acting like they doubt our abilities. We have our limits too.

Anyway, this is just parts and partial of the whole deja vu thing. Its creepy.

For mid-term, I unfortunately have two back to back psych papers: one in the evening, next in the morning the next day.

This time, for finals, I had an early morning paper for Abnormal Psych and Developmental Psych paper the next day morning. Just like midterm, I studied for Ab Psych and barely touched Dev Psych. It was tragic in the end. Both papers were so frigging tough I am speechless at the end of the day.

Hmm... I guess I have survived the worst.

One very sentimental quote from the last page of Dev Psych textbook:

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure" - J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

Till my life begins. Gonna start playing the piano again. :)

Love, LeePeiNing.

sleep deprivation 101

La Fille aux cheveux de lin (The Girl with the Flaxen Hair) - Claude Debussy

As the title suggests, I have been having serious sleep deprivation these days due to the Psychology midterm for Abnormal and Developmental. Clearly, I can't possibly be continuing on to be like that or I'll seriously die young.

Spent the whole of last week and the entire weekend trying to study for the exam. Was seriously worried about Abnormal so I emphasized more on that. Heck, till Sunday that I realized I barely touched Developmental. There goes my confidence towards the subject.

Abnormal turned out rather okay for me with some tough questions here and there.
The four of us entered the hall and sat down comfortably. As I was shading the mcq paper, I vividly heard Amanda whispering at me and I almost scowled at her in disapproval. Then she pointed at the white board that says "Life and Leadership Skills". Dead. The moment I saw that, my heart sank. So that left us packing our things, ditching our bags behind and ran across the room like lost and panic chickens, trying to find where the heck our exam venue was supposed to be. Didn't lose any minutes or started late but the nerves did had some effect. Raced with time to the completion of the exam. Stress. No one left early if I was not mistaken. That was how it was.

Developmental, in the meanwhile, was hell for me. I literally had almost all the 55 mcq questions circled at the number because I wasn't sure of the answers. While for the subjective part where we were required to do the matrices. I stared at it. I did not do my revision on that topic thorough enough to entirely know how to answer them. Plus, the effects of the accumulated number of hours of sleep I was deprived of, started kicking in when I arrived at college in the morning. I stayed up all night to study for the subject, but heck, all of the materials that I studied did not come out in the exam! And the table I picked was imbalance, and was getting on my nerves. I almost went crazy in the middle of the exam, fighting the strong urge to not shout out loud and snatch Gilbert's paper and copy all of his answers. Poor dude was sitting on the right of me.

I was one of the last to exit the exam hall. And when I finally did, I almost fainted in front of the door after I exit the hall.

Met Cassandra and Mitchell while I was waiting for my mum to come pick me up from the hell hole and KO-ed the moment I reached home.

For the second day consecutively I did not bring my mobile phone to college. I guess part of my brain cells are already dead. Fried. Burned. Barbecued. Anyone care for some roasted neurons?

Yes and this week is hell for me. I'm surprised how I can survive the first two days of the week. I had my Abnormal paper in Monday evening at 5-7pm. Developmental in Tuesday morning at 8-10am. Western Civilization quiz tomorrow, Wednesday evening 4-6pm. Developmental assignment submission on due on Friday evening at 5pm. This is worse than high school. Really.

to do list:-

- Abnormal Psychology midterm

- Developmental Psychology midterm

- Western Civilization quiz

- Developmental individual assignment

- Western Civilization individual assignment

Almost there! Hang on babe.

Evelynlpn

Day of Atonement.

Fireflies - Owl City

Felt like I was preparing myself for war. All the supportive documents to be submitted, racing with time to make sure that my things will reach the states on time before the deadline. Really chaotic. And s t r e s s.

It sucked up 70 percent of my energy preparing all these stuffs and worrying about them. Not a fun process to go through. Much hustle as well.

After submitting my application forms and paying the application fees online, I will officially be free of any application procedures. Bad thing is that I will be all helpless by then and can do nothing but to wait for any uni's acceptance letter. Just one university will do and will keep me safe from being a college dropout. Oh gosh does that sound like those sound effects from a horror movie or what? *shivers*

Picking my packages up and handing them to registry. I hope my application make it on time for the March 1st uni deadlines. *fingers crossed*

So the next thing to be all stressed out about is Psychology midterm. Yes. Midterm again. Seems like its so fast. College started, then CNY break and now midterm. What's next? Assignments. Oh great! *grunts*

Whoever says college life very slack? Well, I do tell people that it is slack cause it does has its own slack time, just that it doesn't always lasts long. Note to self of not to procrastinate never seem to register, nor accomplished. Massive, epic failure.

Night out with Khai Sern, Jit Sun and Oei Keong was nice. Went back to Edu Smart to see Accounts teacher, Ms. Lim, Uncle Chan and Pn. Molly. They were so happy to see us, though Pn. Molly can barely remember me and Uncle Chan has completely no clue who the heck I am. Got a nice warm hug from Accounts teacher. Aww... Massive aww. Unexpected.

Planned to walk over to go say hi to Physics teacher, Mr. Yeoh but due to his massive class volume, we doubt he recognizes us so we chickened out. :D

No point disturbing the class anyways when we anticipated that the teacher will have no clue who we are.

As usual, Uncle Chan was preaching the students with his usual, cliche lines like "sow and you will reap (whatever crap)" and "train of thoughts". Really liked that moment when Pn. Molly was trying to recall my name and Khai Sern was interrupting beside, suggesting weird non-existent names like Kimberly for Pn. Molly. And I just shushed Khai Sern by saying, "Don't break the train of thoughts." Indirect sarcasm of Uncle Chan's favorite line and Pn. Molly burst into laughter right after that.

Yum Cha at Kayu. Two hours of non-stop conversations and laughters can totally wear a person out. But when I was back home at 11pm, watched half an hour of American Idol and I'm back to studying. Sigh. Took the whole 4 hours to finish 20 pages. That's how fast my studying speed is.

MASSIVE FAILURE ALERT!!

Its kinda late now already. I shall post this up and decide whether to continue since I'm still quite awake yet sleepy. What the hell am I talking about?

Okay fine, maybe I can't think straight no more. Sleep it is.

Goodnight peeps!

Falling down ain't falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor.

Evelyn Lee.

1, 2, 3 !

N-Dubz ft. Bodyrox - We Dance On

Today is the 8th of January, 2011. It may be just another ordinary day for many of you out there but it certainly is not for me.

Today, is Justin's birthday. He turned 20 today! Not to tease but sad for him. His age does not start with a one in front no more. *please insert expression here*

Today, is my TOEFL examination day. Err... Basically, I think I screwed up some parts here and there. I have no idea what happened because everything was happening so fast and all I could do was to read, listen, think, write and speak so fast while keeping track of the time remaining. Chaotic. I saw some people speaking so loudly and animatedly with all the hand gestures and forced out accent. Pretty weird. Sean was on my right while Cassandra was on my eight o'clock. Everything went fast and at the end of it, I wasn't even sure if I've done alright or not. At the end of the test, they asked to either report or cancel your answers. I was so scared that I accidentally click on CANCEL and there goes my answers and efforts. Well, I made sure I click on the right one. Still a little worried over that though. I never liked questions like that where one answer can affect a whole lot of things. Never.

Today, I hung out with Clement. It always has been nice, hanging out with him. Somehow. One way or another. Ate out at Manhattan. Seafood Chowder soup, Fish and Chips with Dory, iced lemon tea, and I'm officially stuffed. Skipped dinner cause I was so full. Plus, lunch was later than usual.

Today, had fun chatting with friends online. Haven't done that in quite a while I guess.

Today, found out that my high school friends actually gotten me a birthday present. I am so touched and overwhelmed, despite not yet, seen the present itself. After all, its my FIRST ever time, receiving present from my friends for my birthday. Really happy. Thank you peeps. Love you all.

Today, wasn't that bad of a day after all. Notwithstanding having to wake up earlier than usual for the TOEFL test.

Today, are one of the days I will anticipate and hope for in the future.

Till then, xoxo

manslaughter,

Quote of the Day: A fair reputation is a plant, delicate in its nature and by no means rapid in its growth. It will not shoot up in a night like the gourd of the prophet, but like that gourd, it may perish in a night. - Jeremy Taylor

mroar...

Countless of sleepless nights left me a breathing skeleton. Been trying to stay up late at night to study for Human Personality but to no avail. Sleeping on the black couch in my living room for two consecutive nights. Gentle spin of the ceiling fan instead of the air-conditioned room. Everything, just for one trivial reason - studying for Human Personality. :(

You know, I must me nuts from the moment I made up my mind to major in Psychology. I must be crazy.

Midterm was extraordinarily tough. I realized, all the cramming and stress I picked up when studying, all for nothing. The questions turned out to be majority application of theories and critical thinking.

I died. Bet some of my coursemates died too. We died.

I just want to get good grades so that my credits are transferable! :(

I am in desperate need to get more sleep. Bad news is, the rapids ain't over yet. I still have Biology quiz on Monday and Philosophy quiz on Thursday. Not a week to look forward to.

Nevertheless, I can't wait for the barbecue party at Justin's place on Saturday notwithstanding the Biology replacement class in the morning on that day itself. Sigh...

.

Btw, congratulations to all the rescuers for their pouring efforts to save the trapped miners in Chile. This inevitably marks the rebirth of 33 previously despaired lives. This is more than mere miracles. Gives me chills at the sight of how everyone rejoice when those miners stepped out from the capsule to reunite with their loved ones. Gives me goosebumps at the sight of how happy tears streaked down faces of the spectators. This incident is definitely a historical one. One in a million, it is.

Also, this is one of the top searched news in Google. I'm looking at a webpage where people in the whole wide world are constantly updating their twitter on this rescuing of Chilean miners. Just so you know, updates are still swarming in like crazy.

LoveGivesMeHope

Last night, my boyfriend and I attended another school's football game.

His best friend was talking about how hot the girls were and how perfect they were.

My boyfriend brushed off the comment and whispered in my ear, "You're the most beautiful girl here and I love you."

His LGMH.

mixed feelings;

EvelynLee

fatigue, is me

I obviously don't have sufficient time to actually finish up my studying and look at the time now! Its already 10 minutes past one and I'm still up, trying to study but to no avail. Guhh... situations like this just makes me feel like cursing at the wind. !@#$%^& to the wind...

I signed in to blogger, with the plan of ranting a little before proceeding to more cramming, just to find Justin blogging. How is that possible? One step ahead of me... grrrr

So here I am, listening to the beautiful harmony of the sniffing :)

While blogging, with my textbook spread out before the laptop.

Research Methodology midterm is less than 12 hours time. Brain dead moment. gg dot com dot my dot org dot gone case bbq wtf omg laser gun piew piew piew...

Heh. Could be longer but I don't want to have people staring at their computers with the wtfifeellikedyingoutoflameness face hung up on their faces. :)

Well, I guess that's about it. Human Personality is on Thursday afternoon.

I still have four chapters to go.

I am studying very slowly. Like a turtle. I'm a toadstool... :(

Back to studying then catch some sleep later. Till then~

Evelyn signing off. Peace out.

Superman!~

Clearly I don't have the flare Evelyn has for titles..
and I'm pretty sure I cant write as creatively...

anywho..
These days very stress...
cause exams all over the place and being in the same class as Evelyn
I can tell you she sangat stress...
Me, not so much..
Since this is a personal post I don't have pics for it..sorry
I hate this stupid feeling of wanting to do everything when we are rushing for something, its like some bad human defect.
Okay rant over..need to continue studying...this is bad for health..mrawr...

YJ

14.7.2010

If We Ever Meet Again - Katy Perry ft Timbaland

,

The day began at 12am. Duh... I was still up, studying. Need not say. Psychology paper was then, 14 hours away and I still yet to finish up the topic in the exam syllabus. I pondered how I would be able to sleep by now if I wasn't so confident and laid back in the afternoon after the Sociology paper previously. I kept track of the time, rushing to cram all the theories into my pea-sized brain. I was screwed. I called for the night at 2.30am thinking that I still have the morning to do the cramming. (what self-denial... pfffttt) Off to bed! -cuddles-

.

Woke up at 9 to the beautiful harmonica of Shakira's Gypsy. Again, thinking I was able to finish just in time before entering the exam hall after doing my indulgent calculations, I took my time and regretted for doing so. I panicked listening to Elza explaining the theories that I have not revised and obviously couldn't recall in such detail. It was just minutes away from 2pm. Confidence level shot down to minimum. Pity. During exam, Amanda, who was sitting beside me, did her exam paper at such fast speed that freaked me out. Confidence level - nil. The paper was tricky. I knew I was done for. Time constrain. Strict and hot tempered invigilator. Everything seemed to worsen with my lack of study. Eventually, time was up. I dragged my footsteps down to LC into Justin's car and off we went to CineLeisure for a movie - Despicable Me in 3D. Special thanks to Justin (if you are reading this, Justin, you'll know why). Ice-cream worked well in cheering me up. So it did too before the hilarious movie ahead. The small yellow characters, which speak Gibberish, never fail to bring a smile to my face every time they speak. Just too funny. Love the "daddy's" accent too! The small girl's fluffy unicorn! (quote from Justin) OMG ITS SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIEEE! Hahaha...

The night was ordinary. No internet, so I resorted to watching the idiot box, switching channels acting all like a potato couch. Not productive at all. What could I possibly do? NOTHING. So there you go. A day to remember.

Today was bliss in some way. Cheers to happy feelings!

&because when you pull me by the arm so that I turn to face you, I always imagine the best things.

EvelynLee.

Yada Yada~

Impossible - Shontelle

One of my friend's personal message writes: What is life?

I think my answer to that would be: Life is meaningful yet full of lies. :(

,

A sleepless night. Indeed. Four days ago, Vanesse proclaimed with much pride in her voice that she managed to resist the temptation of the internet especially Facebook (a popular site where people often invest their precious time working on it), instead, study hard for her mid-term. I immediately associated myself to an epic failure, an idiot at the back of my mind. I couldn't help but to realize that I was so hooked up to the internet that I could barely find the motivation to study for mid-term besides feeling anxious about it.

I guess after I reluctantly put a halt to surfing the net until my mid-term is over, I was beginning to feel the tension, the stress, creeping up from the back of my shoulder and conquered my helpless soul. I stayed up till wee hours of the morning just to cram all those psychological terms and definitions into my felt-like-pea-sized brain. I really felt like it was going to explode into minute pieces of fragments

.

The mid-term turned out to be rather bad. I was staring at the MCQs with frantic eyes, trying to fathom the questions. With the tip of my mechanical pencil pointing at each answer for each question, I did not know which was the right one for most of the questions. Essay... That word freaks me out. I scanned briefly at the four questions while pondering which two to pick. Alas, I knew little for every one of them.

Clock was ticking. Invigilators feeling restless. Students leaving one by one. I was panicking

,

I had a long six hours break till my next class. Obviously, I was tired, fatigued, bored. I agreed to Subway that afternoon. Turkey Breast & Turkey Ham was Thursday's special. It was divine, besides being able to satiate my hunger and longing for Subway! :P

Tagged along with Justin to Chillax. I was dreaming at the time, clueless that he was spamming my cbox when all I saw at the time, was him, busy fiddling around with his laptop.

...

Yesterday was certainly one of the worst day I had. I was being forced to do something I didn't want to for the entire day, despite a one-day trip to Batu Caves and up to Genting.

Ugh... nevermind that. Yesterday was my good day for playing the piano though. Totally felt it. I wish I have Good-Piano-Day everyday.

Woot. Sorry. I think I'm boring you out. Till then~

Today, I found out that "ipod!" is still "ipod!" upside down. I'm pretty amazed. MLIA

Lovely, EvelynLee.

Baby let's take this time let's make new memories;

Can I Have This Dance (High School Musical)

( End of March, beginning of April...)

These few weeks have been downright hectic. You know that to me, I make a point to work extremely hard so that when the weekend is finally here, I get the bliss, the unlimited satisfaction of getting two days of break. Sleeping late at night has been the normal routine for me, seeing that I am more of a nocturnal person. Nonetheless, waking up late in the weekends also reflects on my unhealthy habit. with all the assignments piling up, events held at HELP, making great opportunities for the SASA-rians to burn their way-too-much internship hours, attending utterly boring and nerve-wrecking prolonged talk in the driving school, going for Ching Ming, attending morning classes as what have been going on for the past 3 months et cetera. All these miscellaneous things have been keeping me from getting enough hours of sleep during the weekends. I feel like I am gradually dying from the lack of sleep, seriously deprived from too many hours of sleep.

...

( Beginning of April...)

For this week, the story continues with more things coming along. Owh, and THANK YOU the world to Mr. Zheng Hong, that I get to know about the JPA interview or I am so going to miss it and have to endure long endless lecture from my parents. Thank you for saving me. So now I owe you a lunch? (: So my interview was on Friday. Nervous no? I heard I have to speak some Bahasa Malaysia. Practiced like nobody's business. I admit I haven't been speaking much of BM ever since forever. In college, the only time I speak BM is when the cleaner lady opens the door and ask " Ada kelas tak? " And I will reply " Tak lah. Pukul ... " Period. :/

.

So the interview was not quite good. Well, it couldn't be better when you have to face those sadistic interviewer who were so critical about every single thing you said. It was nothing fun at all. But the good thing was that I met up with my primary schoolmate, Keefe Chan Jun Hwang. His confidence and brilliant smile were building up mine too! Thank you so much. He had been so cheerful, friendly and optimistic about everything that when we couldn't actually find out station, he was still chilling and smiling all the way. YOU ARE THE BEST! Well, I guess as a debater himself, he has to learn to smile through all the difficult and nerve-wrecking situations. (: Besides, a few other surprises I got was that I saw Xin hui at the parking lot, Keefe was in the same room as I was, along with Hazim, my secondary schoolmate. Oh... At least I was not the only one. Thank you!

...

( The whole of April...)

Whole loads of assignments to rush, quizzes... as usual. Even I am sick and tired of all these repetitive rantings. It seems like its never-ending but its all the same. Oh my God! How mundane and pathetic my blog can be? Anyway, preparation for my finals was bad. I stayed up late every night to study, and most of the time, till around 4 or 5 in the morning. I really work, study and is definitely more productive at night. YES!

...

( Last week of April...)

Finals. Finals. Finals. Hearing the word itself makes me sick. That same nausea feeling I experience every time I am nervous or anxious. Yeah. What was worse was that the exam time table hates me to the core. I have five subjects to tackle. Two of them were crammed on the first day of exam. The remaining three were on the last day of exam. How good life can be? Credits to the exam admin board. Thank you for making my life so much more miserable than anyone else's. Despite the stress, I definitely have my breakaway moments, where I would drown myself in the excitement of Naruto manga ( how addictive it can be! ). But of course, those are actions taken to deal with my emotional distress and to reduce the effects of stressor. Oh. I am going to babble about those psychology theories again. Seriously, Psychology is definitely making an impact in every one of my Psychology classmates. We prone to relate every single thing to any psychology theories that we have learnt. Sigmund Freud, Bandura... Those people. Sometimes, I feel like puking listening to those theories we speak of even after the exam. Perhaps a break, mate? (:

...

( Now...)

Exam is officially over, ushering the 3 weeks of holidays. Oh yeah. Life is incredibly awesome now. Notwithstanding the great ideas of holiday, I had to pull myself out from bed EARLYY in the morning almost everyday for my driving lessons. This sucks for people who adores sleeping like ME!! So yeah. It is just the beginning. There's more to come, but there won't be any more time lines. I just loathe time lines. No idea why am I doing it right now in this post. Sorry! *apologetic gestures* :)

Additional column : ( I just couldn't find a suitable place to fit in this. Sorry for the weird, awkward corner here... ) I lost weight. 2 kg. I guess it is because my appetite has been deteriorating these days. I don't even feel like eating. Not like I have some anorexic nervosa or bulimia whatever but I feel like if I were to force some food down into my stomach, I'm afraid that I am going to vomit them all back out. Yeah. This is something bad. Oh noes...

It takes immense hard work and courage to free a soul.

Toodles! Signing out at 3.10am...

Love, evelyn

Works for ME!!

Baby - Justin Bieber

Facebook says it all. It really does all the time. News over there spread like bush fire. Worse than bush fire in fact. :/

So few days before the release of SPM result, everybody was already changing their status to something related to SPM. Even in MSN. And that really freaks me out cause I wasn't panicky at all. Its weird. Not like I did for UPSR or PMR but hey!! This is SPM. Its a total different story. Anyway, I had more in mind. I had assignments, presentations, project et cetera. ADP is a program which can be way cooler than any other program but when it comes to passing up stuffs or anything, it may be one of the program which stresses you out the most. But overall, ADP is one of the program where people had spent their time meaningfully there. It is like a family where everyone knows each other because of its small size of group.

Anyway, I realised I wasn't even nervous or whatsoever over this day - 11th March 2010. The only reason I changed my status in Facebook to as if I was actually feeling the nerves creeping up on me was merely because I felt the need to do so as part of the routine and also partially peer pressure since everybody was doing the same. I feel like I have to conform with others on the whole feelingnervousthing. Moreover, I had a good night sleep the night before the day and even dreamt of something irrelevant but happy. It was either I was over confident or college's stuffs are really getting on my nerves and practically shifted my attention from that day

.

Due to the presentation in the afternoon I was supposed to do, I dressed up abnormally formal. Upon arriving in school, I realised people were staring at me with the look which I interpreted as where-on-earth-does-she-think-she-is-going?? With my mum's formal shoes but it totally fits my feet size, I really looked like I was Hilary Clinton campaigning for the presidency of America few years ago. Nevertheless, the presentation plan was burned as Mr. Marzuki totally forgotten that we were supposed to present that day and prepared something else for us instead. Well, nobody had the guts to stand up front and tell him till class was going to end in approximately 15 minutes when he brought up the presentation topic that we confessed. What was worse was that he even praised me for the way I dressed cause it makes me look more "confident" in a way and suggested me wearing that sort of outfit more often. Derrick Chiang, who was planning on presenting on the same day as I was going to, too, dressed up quite formally with collared shirt and a pair of black pants just for the presentation. What I have in mind is that I think Mr. Marzuki thought that we have to dress up formally to school to get our SPM results. :( But anyway, it is for sure that I am going to present this week. *fingers crossed*

.

Aiites! Back to the topic. So we were hanging around, catching up with each other which I didn't do much because they all seemed to enjoy standing near the concrete building which conducts heat and burning even standing in the shades under it. I much prefer standing under big shady trees, more natural and environmental friendly in a way. After prolly five till ten minutes, the heat was rising up to burn my brains and I gave up. Dragging along Shu Ning and Yi Xuan, we went to look for Pn. Chin in her air-conditioned office. How kind of her for letting and inviting us to stay there in her office and chat with us while we cool our body down to a much normal temperature. :) Aww... I really missed attending her class while she crack jokes that are really cold where they makes you think whether to laugh or not. :D After a while, she sort of shooed us back to the hall to check on our results but in the end suggested texting other teacher to find out whether has the results been released. How sweet! :)

.

Everybody was crowding around the area where my former form teacher, Pn. Azlina was sitting with the piles of papers, peeping. Well, I had to squeeze into the line as I had to leave early for my sister, who was having class at 1.00pm. Great! :| Well, since the guys are tall enough, and Jo Keat is tall enough, he helped me by telling me how well I scored. Well, of course I could not bring myself to trust completely in case he saw it wrongly and lead me to practically having the fallflatfromsky kind of stupid situation, I prefer to believe partially of it. Seeing those who were lining up in front of me flash those brilliant smiles when they turn their body around to face the crowd, that was when my nerves started to build up within me, attacking every inch of my vulnerable serenity. Well, turns out that my result is better than what I expected while I shoot up to be one of the top students in our school as far as I am concern. :) Thumbs up for me! Looking forward to the Hari Penyampaian Akedemic! If I can make it...

...

So while I am up at 4.35am typing this post, I am actually speaking to Monsieur Hiran who keeps me laughing all night with his stupid, naive yet entertaining questions... Here are some of the highlights ( Vampire Chronicles - him ; Vampire Kingdom - me ):

As you see, my MSN personal message says : stupidthunder. ihateyou! And here is how it begins

--->:[-Vampire Chronicles-:[ says: hay...mind if i ask u smthing? whom u were hating? in ur status? before. bf?

。❤。 •Vampire Kingdom • 。❤。* says: it was the thunder damn it.. you didn't read it properly.. its still there now.. it says - stupidthunder. ihateyou! -.-

:[-Vampire Chronicles-:[ says: stupidthunder???? whos that?? lol

* 。❤。 •Vampire Kingdom • 。❤。* says: stupidthunder is not a person... instead, IT IS THUNDER AKA the sudden loud noise which comes from the sky especially during a storm, WHICH I DESCRIBE AS STUPID!!!

:[-Vampire Chronicles-:[ says: so its like u r simply blaming the rain.. correct??

Another hilarious one :

:[-Vampire Chronicles-:[ says: wish i could read ur blog

* 。❤。 •Vampire Kingdom • 。❤。* says: why not?

:[-Vampire Chronicles-:[ says: but how? u dont need account? like in fb?

* 。❤。 •Vampire Kingdom • 。❤。* says: another naive question... its like any other webpage where you can browse as you like unless the owner privatise it! OMG!! OMG MAN HIRAN!

So, its 4.44am now. I am going to post this and go to bed. I am not totally immortal just like him, I have human blood in me too. If you don't get this, you probably do not have enough knowledge about the vampire world. I suggest Twilight saga for you. Its very romanticy though. But it gives you the rough idea on vampires. :)

I am not a quitter. I will fight until I drop. It is just a matter of having some faith in the fact that as long as you are able to draw breath in the universe, you have a chance

- Cicely Tyson

Love, eve

The New Phase

Future Love – Kristinia DeBarge

Hola!

I know this may sound mundane and is a repetition of most of the other Form 5 students or bloggers, but I would still like to express how relieve I am for the fact that SPM has finally come to an end. After months and months of grueling and all the refrains from watching the television and going online. And finally, no more tuitions.

Think life will be much better off after SPM? Well, I’ll stop you right there. Do think again. If you hadn’t realise, this exam just put a period to our previously comfortable and over-protected lives. Before this, our lives are practically well-planned out for us. All we got to do was just obeying the routine of going to school, just like any other kids in the whole country. Our parents or elderly would eventually be there to enrol us into school and before you even realise what was happening, you are already sitting in a classroom with many unfamiliar faces staring at each other. Need not say, this phenomenon will then repeats itself when we enter high school.

However, things may get a little different now. It is all about making decisions and planning ahead for your future or you’ll just stop at that phase and never move on. It is like a crossroad, but with more than just four routes to take. You can only pick one from the many, and it has to be the right one as it holds your future right ahead. You may think this is it, but after a few years, you might start to regret but there’s no turning back. You just have to go on and bear with it for the rest of your life.

This may sound distressing but it is still the cruel reality and it is undeniable that it is like that. Anyway, don’t mind that long winded lecture. :D

If you are wondering what I will be doing after this, I am going to HELP university college to pursue higher education and going in for January intake. This indirectly mean that I have only half a month of holiday before starting again. Anyway, I will be doing the American Degree Program there and is planning to major in psychology after that.

Well, before this, I totally had no idea what I am going to do after SPM, but after my trip to Japan last year, I met this young lady around her early 20s who just graduated as a fine art student in the States. When I expressed my distress on not being able to decide what to do after high school, she told me that she too, had the same situation before this. It is true for what she said, ‘ You will eventually know what you want when time comes.’ I was really puzzled at first but when it really did happened to me, I felt grateful and hopeful once more. So for you guys out there who feel frustrated over this issue, my advice to you is to take your time out and be sensitive to the things going on around you. You will find your interest and dreams to pursue sooner or later. So cheer up! :D

True courage is to pursue one’s dream when everyone says its impossible.

Love, eve.

Memoir of Exam.

Fantasie Impromptu Op.66 in C# minor – Chopin ( Yundi Li)

During the devastating exam period, I was stressed out, like any other students. My lungs felt like they were balloons being inflated to the point where it can burst anytime. I felt it expanding, bloating and when it finally did exploded, I burst into tears. I knew i could no longer contain my anxiousness and will collapse sooner or later, so I turned into her.

I was whining while complaining to her just to hope for some sympathy and advice in return so that they could distract myself from the tension I was going through. I was more than shocked when I received an incredulously unfriendly comment from her. I was taken aback by the piercing words escaping from her mouth and took a step back. My heart ached and felt like it was being stabbed. Blood gushed through the arteries and blushed my face. My ears were hot. I clenched my fist so tight that it hurts like hell.

Stomping my way hard on the stairs, I bolted up and slammed the door hard behind my back. A loud bang was generated as a result of the big force i exerted. I plunged into my bed and settled my head between my palms. A stream of tears rolled down my cheeks and stained my pillow. Dark dots accumulated at the area beneath my chin.

I was furious and disappointed at her inconsiderate remarks. I started to recall how she would give my sister a warm and loving hug when she was undergoing exam tension. Slowly, my anger built up in me and conquered my mind, triggering my tear glands at the same time. My sight blurred out and once again, I cried out loud.

Soon, my face was sticky and filled with dried tears stain. I pulled myself out from bed and quickly held my study table for support. My head felt heavy and I was extremely dizzy. I dragged myself to the washroom and washed my face. When I looked myself in the mirror, I saw a girl I no longer recognised staring straight back at me. Her eyes were red with veins visible from distance. I saw the disappointment and the strong sombre mood in her, but she had to go on with her studies by hook or by crook for the deathly paper in just few hours time.

I wrapped up the myraid thoughts that flashed past so quickly in my mind before resuming to my studies. It was nearly 2 o’clock in the morning when I was still struggling to cram all the terms and explanations into my tiny brain. Suddenly, my train of thoughts was broken by the string of knockings on my room door. I called out to ask who was it although I knew deep down, it was her. Just then, I found out my voice was cracked due to the prolonged crying I had before.

Reluctantly, I climbed out of bed and twisted the door knob. The lock jerked up and the door creaked open. It was her! I was surprised to see her up so late at night although I was hoping it was her to appear at my doorstep. She mumbled a silent apology and opened her arms wide while I fell in it. She wrapped her hands round my back and whispered into my ears. “ Go to bed and get some sleep. Its okay if you could not get good results. I know you have tried your best. Now wash up and rest. I’ll wake you up the first thing in the morning.” My heart melted. I nodded profusely while tears built up in my eyes again.

Live life like a ballerina. Light and gracefully, gliding past all the difficult times. You’ll be amazed by how you’ll find moments to laugh at when you look back to it.

Love, eve.

Troubled.

Listening to : Geu Nal Ee Hoo Ro by Sung Si-kyung

First two days of school were normal. They were in fact lessons-free. However, we were bombarded by all the teachers with all our mid-year examination marks as expected and all of us were inevitably, shocked by the marks which awaken us from the semi-conscious, sleepy condition during the holidays.

Although I have not gotten back all my results, I thought I did quite a great job this time as the papers were undeniably tough especially for papers like Biology and History. What I did not expect was my Moral marks. It was devastating and my heart skipped a beat when I sum up the marks for the paper. All I know was I tried my best and I did whatever I thought I was supposed to do and wrote whatever I thought teacher would want me to write. I guess knowledge about Moral I have in mind is not enough for me to get a better result. * shrugs *

I went for today's marching practice in order to make sure I catch up with the team but what made me disappointed was the number of marchers present for the practice. The sight of it made me feel anxious and concerned about Sports Day. It will just be a miracle if we could be prepared in time for Sports Day which falls on the 26th of June. Felt groggy after I went home.

Love, Eve.

Sigh.

Listening to : First Love by Utada Hikaru

Funny or not, I am one of the people to find Accounts dreadful. Somehow, I feel that Accounts is just not my forte unlike how Jeremy Lee can handle it like a piece of cake. Sometimes I just think that I have to work extremely hard for better performance in Accounts. Sigh.

It was a depressing, overcast Saturday morning. Thick haze overshadowed my feelings. Myriad thoughts flashed through my Accounts-filled mind. 'What if I did not do well or even worse than the last time? My mum will be will extremely disappointed in me.' I whispered to myself so softly that those words are inaudible even to my own ears. Sometimes I wonder why did I took up Accounts in the first place.

Since Thursday, I was working my life off, cracking head, just to put a real effort to understand Accounts for this morning's exam. Flipping through all the papers, reading thoroughly, absorbing workings like a sponge hoping all could fit in just in time before the exam. 

I think all my hard works have paid off. My accounts have balanced and I don't seemed to have any trouble figuring out the workings and answers for each questions. At first, I thought I really was going to flunk this exam, but when I took a glance at those questions I dread to look at, I felt the adrenaline rush through my veins and before I realised what was going on, my fingers were firm on the blue pen I was using and was writing figures and letters at a great speed. My hands were quick, flipping through papers. My eyes were gliding from left to right so fast that I myself felt a little dizzy from the vigorous taking in of figures.

I flinched abruptly whenever I discovered a mistake. Guess that was an act to show how silly I was to make that kind of mistakes. When I turned to my right to look at Mark, he was too, paying full concentration on the questions and making little noises occasionally which were enough for me to know what he was thinking. Sigh. I'm not the only one who got stressed out for this Accounts Exam. :D

***

Time flies so fast that it felt like lightning strike. By the time you see what's happening and feeling comfortable with the things happening around you, its gone with the wind and never turning back again, simply leaving fading memories with you which replays over and over again for a short period of time and then completely deleted from your memory. So grasp and treasure every moment in life so not to regret it in the nearest future. :)

Love, Eve.

Let Go. Skip Forward.

It felt like ages since exam started. My life has been so hectic this year that when Yi Xuan approached me today to ask me about how many books have I read this year, my honest answer was 1 ( The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd ).

Exam was tough. Not to speak about the study subjects but I honestly do not think I stand a chance in getting an A for any of those. Not in the slightest. Perhaps the slightest exists...

Insanity struck Pn. Cheong. Biology was crazy. It was "brain-crackingly" tough. Things that we have never seen in our miserable life appeared in that paper. " I took some of the questions from my book." " No tips will be given during SPM. This is only for your own good." Excuse me but who gives a damn about what's in your book and why are the questions so OUT OF THE BOX? No offence but Biology was devastating.

I totally screwed Physics Paper 3. Don't ask me how and why because I knew I screwed up the whole thing. Nevertheless, thought of failing Physics never strike me. The worst might be a C. * Confidence in myself *

To be frank, I thought Chemistry was okay. In fact, I think I might be able to get better result for it compared to the other science subjects. I was lucky actually and credits to Mei Yi & Pau Ling for making me study all the possibilities experiment at the very last minute before I entered the exam hall. Thanks again.

The others were okay. So conclusion, I'm just glad that its over but bear in mind, the worst is yet to come... I know I'm being such a killjoy here but it is TRUE!

American Idol Update

On On May 20, 2009, Kris Allen was crowned the winner of eighth season of American Idol, becoming the first contestant with the status 'married' to claim the prestigious title in the reality show.

As for my whole time favourite contestant of the season - Danny Gokey, Idol Season 8 second-runner up, he will still be one with the best sexiest voice ever existed in the show and the soul-singer.

Idol Season 8 first-runner up, Adam Lambert has the craziest vocal range we have in the century. Standing ovation for every performance and even from Simon Cowell.

Great job to all. Deep down we know all of them are the Champions and are making their presence in the music industry significant with their humble attitudes. Way to go! BEST SEASON OF ALL!

Random update of me : Going to have movie marathon very soon...

Life is like a swing. Suddenly, you find yourself in the peak of your life when lights dimmed around you.

Mixed feelings

Evelyn

Outgrowing from tests

Today was cool. I was the first to arrive at Bio Lab second after teacher but first student! How rare... By the way, we did the juice test and i was obsess with the syringe and played with the orange juice too! Five Form 5 guys intruded our class but i can only recognise Han Liang, Jun Hsien and Zhuo Li. Jun Hsien asked me whether am i going to the Leo Installation and i answered ' No ' . He sort of asked me in a stern but joking way why and told me he is going to reserve a sit for me written ' O.C. for Librarian Installation ' on the chair. Sad to say, i really M.I.A for LEO Installation.

There was this Senamrobik Peringkat Daerah held in our school field this morning. The songs were all so energetic and through my class window, really felt like joining them. Joel, Ming Soon, Alan and Geber were involved in that exercise too! They seemed to be having a whale of time down there. Saw my primary school headmaster and also my dad's ex-classmate who is a headmaster of S.K Taman S.E.A school. Pn. Liew still taught, albeit the loudness of the songs. Her voice is so vague! How am i suppose to know what is she talking about?

We had lots of tests lately mainly diagnostic tests. The teachers all claimed that our class was chosen to take the test and my class ended up taking Biology test, Chemistry test and Add Maths test. There were so many killer modules especially Add Maths when Pn. Ang made us do 4 modules at once only given 25 minutes each which is about 1/2 minute one question. That really was like rush hour for everybody except for those who chose to shoot heads since they were all objectives.

Had Theory of Music lesson again. Teacher marked my paper and guess what? I'm only one mark away from failure. That is not a good sign. I am going to work way harder and put some effort in theory to pass the exam on 16th August. Feeling anxious whenever i think of it. I hate exams! Have to love it for now...

I really hated Khai Sern for being emotional and in a bad mood these days. No offence but bad mood people really piss me off. F.Y.I, it affects people around you also okay? That's why even if i'm not feeling happy, the longest i can be emotional is only 2 hours cause i know it really affects and i need that time to get over those bad feelings. I hope something good will happen very soon which might perk him up a little bit. He is like a walking dead corpse now! I really feel sorry for what has happened to him but these things can't be helped right? It has already happened. Sorry for being harsh.

Anyway, check these out!Pandas are so cute!Sea horse?? Huge and different one..Question : Do jelly fish has brain?

Credits

Picture department

Mummy

Sister

Written by

The one and only

Pei Ning

PMR FREE!!

So now i am not afraid of PMR anymore!! It is completely over in my life and i will never have to take PMR again!! Cheer for the good news...

Another good news! I got straight A's ( 8 A's ) for PMR!! Overwhelmed, i should say? All mums will be proud of their child if they get good results. My dad as usual just say, " Get 8 A's huh? " Then he walked away...

Usually getting results is when you get rich. You will get money from the elderly. And as reminder, new year is coming again. Yey! But school is going to reopen again. *sobs*

Tomorrow i have to do something important. Which is not for some people to know.. haha. if you want to know ask me... i shall think twice before telling you though...

Listening to Into The Night by ( i don't know who )

Its over...

Finally, its over... I've been waiting for long, my diploma... now i just hope i will pass...

So i was there very early. About one and a half hour before the exam. Thanks to my teacher, asking me to go early in case there is accident, road block or what nonsense... It was so hot there and there is no proper waiting room... Just a tiny little fan blowing.

I went in and saw my examiner. He is so cute and round, like a potato man. His hair is very short so the shape of his head is obvious, round... He is quite friendly but he killed me with a question for the viva. I don't know how to answer him then he calmed me down by saying don't worry... T.T

By the way, i went to 1U for dinner and saw the christmas decoration. So cute!!! I like the soldiers and the keys... It reminds me of my childhood...

Here are some of the photos...

This is very cute...

1 word

Cute~~

Its coming...

My piano exam, its coming soon. This Wednesday is the end of the world.

Today i had a exam recital with four other students including my sister in my teacher's house. It was scary and i did so badly in my first piece because of the stupid trill that i can't get right all the time. I was pissed!

Half way when i was playing, i sweated. I really have sweat coming down to my cheks and it was so irritating. After i finished that piece, i wiped it of but when i was in other piece, it came down on the other side. =.=

So i am hoping for no serious mistakes during the exam, good examiner and passing the exam.

Listening to No One by Alicia Keys...