the dreaded.

Say You're Sorry - Sara Bereilles

You know what I dread most? Is that at the last minute of the most important moment of your life that they have to cause a mess.

I felt like I was reliving history. Deja vu, literally.

This time, we took time out from the last minute cramming to meticulously evaluate the probability of the exam venue for ADP students. Of course, we were scared that we will have to run around like some runaway school kids. Its not fun. The most important thing before an exam is to keep your nerves calm. Having your heart palpitating madly is NOT doing any good with the nerve calming thing.

Gosh, as if they are trying to see if ADP students can endure the physical test and mental test. They are truly acting like they doubt our abilities. We have our limits too.

Anyway, this is just parts and partial of the whole deja vu thing. Its creepy.

For mid-term, I unfortunately have two back to back psych papers: one in the evening, next in the morning the next day.

This time, for finals, I had an early morning paper for Abnormal Psych and Developmental Psych paper the next day morning. Just like midterm, I studied for Ab Psych and barely touched Dev Psych. It was tragic in the end. Both papers were so frigging tough I am speechless at the end of the day.

Hmm... I guess I have survived the worst.

One very sentimental quote from the last page of Dev Psych textbook:

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure" - J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

Till my life begins. Gonna start playing the piano again. :)

Love, LeePeiNing.

Over and done with.

Finally. I'm just going to catch up more on sleeping and see what comes next.

Whatever comes, sleep is now my priority.

Oh, I can't wait for the royal wedding tomorrow. It is going to be great!

Till then.

dream dream dream...

Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO ft Lauren Bennett

I had a weird dream about deciphering ancient Egyptian codes and wall carvings to change the entire recorded History. Yeah it was my assignment and to do so, I was travelling everywhere to gather every piece of information. That lead me to this weird school with all my primary and high school friends but my dream stupidly showed only the faces of four of them. Among them were Khai Sern, Jo Keat, Abel and Zheng Hong. Weird because I haven't seen them in ages. Not to mention Yi Xuan, who was my amazing sidekick. Best buddies in real life as best partners in dream. One word : Awesome.

So then Khai Sern and Jo Keat were in this classroom of about eight. A small class indeed and the lecturer was teaching mechanics! Hahahah the subject Jo struggled at. Me think... Well, facts in dreams aren't always accurate.

And I went into this classroom to get Abel out and all the guys thought I was an elementary school kid because of the dark pinafore that was on me. But they were whistling and whispering all about me, bustling around in their chairs the whole time I was in the classroom so I guess I looked pleasant enough in my dream to be able to attract their attention :D

Then I went on hugging Abel, my kindergarten classmate for a very very long time. I guess the reason for this prolonged hugging was because I lost contact with him ever since we graduated from kindergarten and went our own paths till we bumped into each other again at Form 4 in a tuition class. Awkward we didn't even dare to make eye contact or initiate a conversation. But somehow we managed in the end, kudos to his cousin. Long story.

And weird enough, someone from that school I wasn't even studying in, nominated me to receive this government scholarship. I stared at the informatory paper. I think you can guess what I saw. But I was confused. Then I woke up, back to reality.

It was a nice dream though, to be able to 'meet' the people I miss a lot in that dream, albeit the incredibly weird storyline.

That's all. Back to studying. Exam tomorrow and the day after tomorrow then I'm so done.

Keep those fingers crossed girl.

PeiNing.

Definition of a bad day:

Better Off Alone - Katherine McPhee

1. rudely awakened

2. forced into chores

3. period

4. screwed up internet connection

5. being lied to

6. betrayed

7. abandoned

8. dejected

9. self-made unsatisfying breakfast due to lack of food at home

10. solitary

11. rain with profuse thunder and lightning

12. leak

13. disorientated

14. short attention span

15. sleepy

16. having a freak calling

17. cramps, bad cramps

18. mood swing

19. hot chills

20. sore throat

21. hungry

22. fought with daddy

23. no appetite

24. more cramps

25. weak

26, emo songs -> sombre -> tears

27. sleep

I hate days like this...

Nightmare.

Kickin' in with

Perfect - Pink

It was distasteful, the feelings I had to go through. The thick emotions of betrayal and disappointment.

As a message came in and my phone let out a cheerful jingle tone, I forced my eyelids open, heart stirring in a complete opposite direction. Hyperventilating with accelerated heart beat, palpitating wildly beneath my chest. Getting downstairs to open the door was a bitter struggle, yet the reassurance awaiting was irresistible. Just what I desperately needed at that moment of insecurity.

Emotions overflowed. True that people say hugs will definitely bring out the true feelings buried deep within an apparent strong soul. I proved myself wrong as I thought I could handle the overwhelming feelings that embraced my timid heart as I repetitively chanted the same old sentence every time I have a nightmare. Clearly, I was not convinced.

The presence of another beating heart in the quiet house gradually untangled the tight knots in my throat and my heart as I gasped for air in the midst of sobbing. Beads of tears trickled down the outlines of my cheeks, gave a warm and humid feeling I did not favor. Unanswered words of concern and loving strokes of the back were the things that proved the events in the nightmare wrong. Then gradually, I fell back to reality where I completely let myself off guard, and fell back into your love once more.

I'm glad you were there when I needed you the most.

I love you sweetheart.

xoxo

Because I love you I don't need another reason why...

Hiatus. Oh well. Here's a lil bout ADP.

Manic Monday - Relient K

In blogging, many will always come to a point where they feel that blogging has become a task or a mandatory routine that is an unpleasant necessity. I'm pretty sure this is my... *looks at fingers and starts counting* I lost count of the times I have experienced this. But this is certainly a post that tells dear readers that it is back! This horrible, atrocious feeling. Its back to haunt again!

Lets have a moment of silence...

...

..

.

April 1st, 2011

Okay. Here's brief post about ADP Mixer cum ( <-- WTF??) HELP 25th Anniversary pool party.

It was held at Royal Commonwealth Club located at Batai, walking distance from HELP.

Basically, it was great. Met some freshies, kinda awkward to wanna talk to some of them cause they are simply too shy and... conversationless. Clicked very well with James though, since we bonded a lot during Calculus class. We're officially like buddies now.

I thought I dressed up for this pool party. Really. I felt pretty that night, albeit not wearing any bikini under my outfit like what the others did. Some accessories I kept away for a long time, plus a normal red spaghetti strap and a bondi blue pareo as skirt will do. :)

The food was okay as usual. Performances were awesome. Loving the breakdance, popping and all the contemporary and dope dance moves. Plus, the magic show cum ( <-- WTF?) stand up comedy, awesome entertainment by Bighead and Ian, the music lecturer. They are just natural, so raw like they are born to entertain.

After everything in the agenda, here comes the getting wet and wild part. They just had to fulfill the theme of the party. So majority of the people, not to mention girls, were forced down the pool. So instead of getting thrown into it, I willingly took off my pareo and strutted towards the pool. Just when I was about to jump in, someone (either Sanjeev or Bighead) gave me a push and splash, there I bid goodbye to my dry self within spilt seconds.

Was shivering with cold in the pool but still played kapten ball for a while before I retired to dry land. It was fun. Hmm... got hit at the bridge of my nose by Mayuri when something happened and she hurt her gladys. Again. I think it'll survive.

Rest of the night was pretty much okay, drenched, intoxicated.

That's all for now!

Love, LeePeiNing

to love.

Dear eyes,

why shed tears when you represent a sign of weakness and insecurity?

Dear heart,

why throb in pain and every beat of yours is wrenching?

Dear hope,

why did you exist in the first place?

.

I need a shoulder to lean on right now. And I know very clearly I don't need no one else's but yours.

You are the reason why I smile. You are the reason why I laugh. Yet you are the reason why I cry.

You are every reason that its unreasonable.

You are a beautiful disaster.

You are an irony.

And that is why you are the reason why I love.

With all my heart, with all the love I am capable of giving, this is for you.

Let us raise our glasses up high and toast.

To love.

tonight,-

tonight, is such a moonless night. starless night. i peered up to the dark blue sky, it was perfect and spotless enough to be a backdrop of a gloomy play.

tonight, is such a humid night. all around me i feel the wet air precipitating in mid air. a feeling that i don't favor. it makes objects exposed to the damp air all wet and sticky.

tonight, is such a tiresome night. despite not doing anything productive for the entire day, somehow i'm drained off my senses. fatigue. lazysome much.

tonight, is a night of random talks. back to the good ol' times where just any random topics pop up that we talk about and have a great laugh over it.

tonight, is a night of reminiscence. of the stress over assets and creditors, comes the joy and excitement. a sense of accomplishment. a redbull for self-confidence.

tonight, is a night of aftershock. high decibels of sounds, shocking memories, traumatizing visual experience and vicarious reactions. involuntary flow of tears which break free from the boundaries profusely.

tonight, is a night of distractions. of self entertainment to entertaining others, to eye candy, to consoling, to leisure.

tonight, is such a chilly night. strolling down the quite street was unusually pleasurable when i should be vigilant at the sight of a few man, strangers. yet i was sadistically invincible.

tonight, is a night of self-indulgence. spending a few bucks more on something that may satisfy my crave for unhealthiness for at least a week is satisfying. that doesn't make me a masochist.

tonight, is a night of transition. where the sky goes from moonless to the appearance of it. which was moving? was it the moon? or the earth?

tonight, is a night of drowsiness. i have a confession. i have deeply fallen for my bed. its not the best looking bed ever, but it understands my need for a place to rest. a surface to lie on when i fall. my bed knows me best.

tonight, i shall mend my remorseful heart. with only a little, i can go a long way, me think.

tonight, i hope another beating heart is not troubled because of my selfishness and insensitivity.

tonight, is a night where i completely fallen for you again. for your honesty. for your charm. for your tender touch.

all because of tonight, i don't need a reason why days like this should never not come by ever again.

the way you looked at me

it makes me feel so serene inside

the warmth you propagate

only through that truthful stare of yours

never fails to melt my heart

i love how when you look me in the eyes

it was as if you stare straight into my vulnerable soul

that beautiful eyes of yours

which i can never get enough of

Evelyn.

Cause I'm that cool.

Sean: Answer me or else i'll call and bug you 24/7

Me: I will call till you wanna block my number

Sean: I'll make you think of me ... doesn't matter what you're doing ... i'll make your life miserably me ...

Sean: Be it eating, shitting, sleeping, dying, blablabla-ing, you'll think of the name evelyn lee ...

Sean: I will haunt you like a hungry beast ...

Sean: I will feast on your vulnerable mind ...

Sean: I will tear your eyeballs apart if they set eyes on other girls ...

Sean: I will do whatever it takes to make you think of me ... every second of your pathetic life ...

,

Clement: EH!!!! You can read mind!!!

Me: Hahaha... Memang la.

Clement: You got super power. Why didn't you tell me?

Me: Cause I am number four.

,

Vanesse: Derrick did a great work on you!! Haha

Me: Wei that sounds very wrong okay Vanesse. Aigoooo *facepalm*

Vanesse: He made you feel so special! lolz ^^

Me: That's wrong as well. Stop talking Vanesse. I don't want blood spill when Justin sees this.

Michelle: Yeah yeah hahahahaha sounds so wrong... LOL

Derrick: Hahaha Justin, don't worry I didn't do her...

,

Derrick: Not my type. Too kiddish. Hahahaha

Me: Ouch... So evil. Ah whatever *rolls eyes* go away. I don't like you too.

Derrick: If you say so. I don't believe =) hahahaha

Amanda: Hahahah telepathy Evelyn! I just said ah whatever *flips hair and walks away*

Me: Telepathy again? Wow... Amazing :D

Amanda: And I said go away too. Around the same time. This is scary.

.

As Alex Lui speaks during Abnormal Psychology class. His humor captivated us all. Then we realized how much we missed him and his lectures. At least, he's more interesting than UK. All I said was 'melt melt'. True enough, I had a major meltfunction.

.

I dreamt of Edward Cullen yesterday. Guess what? I think my subconscious really hate that dude. He was walking towards me in his usual grey trench coat and his superb cool sporty looking shades, his golden silky hair nicely gelled up. Woah, got wind when he walks. Unfortunately, as he approached me to a close enough distance, I just yanked my fist to a full-blown punch at him and hit him on the right eye. So hard that his shades broke into minuscle pieces. Somewhat looked like pieces of reflective glasses, spread on the floor beside his feet while some remained hanging on the sides of the frame. Cause I am that cool. I punched Edward Cullen in the face. :)

Be a dreamer. Not a daydreamer. The difference between them lies between willingness and courage to take real action.

Pei Ning.

Living the Irish spirits.

It was the St. Patrick's day on Thursday. Hence, the American Eagle club organized a party for this special festival, held at HELP Residence.

The day started earlier than usual for me. Woke up without an alarm at 10. Unusual. Anyways, the event was great basically. Loved the couple Polo-T Amanda and Derrick were wearing. Mmmm...

At one point of the event though, I felt quite left out, and lonely.

Food was rather okay. Surprisingly, I got lucky and won lucky draw again. It was scented candles this time round. I was ecstatic. Really. Since young, I somehow don't possess the necessary luck to be winning lucky draws or anything similar to the aforementioned. Not insinuating how I hate not being chosen all the time, but its just not my luck. Nevertheless, lady luck seems to like me better these past few years. Is it safe to say now that I am in luck?

So, as the event comes close to the end, the frenzy of playing with the glitters on the table started. Plus ballooning all over. I guess I was too attractive that I had to be the victim of so many people. Teck Yan chased me around the hall just to sprinkle me with this hand full of glitters while I was busy running away from him with a balloon tied to my wrist. Funny much. Was pretty much making use of my reflex and my speed to move my short legs cause Tecky had damn long legs. He's way taller than me man.

Dude!! 7 years knowing you and you're still so evil to me every time we see each other!

Still, in the end, I got it bad, be it from Teck Yan or from Kent or anyone else. I got it real bad. Ended up shining like a total freak. Heck, I was literally glowing! Shinier than Edward Cullen. Hands down.

(okay I don't think anyone likes the rate I am going through things like flashing slide shows. Am just planning to write down what I think its memorable)

After the event, I was pretty hyper. Really. To the extent that someone actually tied a balloon to my green ribbon at my pony tail and I gladly left it there. Walked around with a balloon floating on mid air from the back of my head. Need not say the hysterical and endless laughter. Unfortunately, it flew away when I got out of the building. Am still grieving over the lost. It was tragic. A massive one.

Went to The Hills opposite of Wisma HELP for a drink. Alcohol drink. Well, I wasn't so much into the mood of drinking so I did not order anything, instead, took sips from everyone's. Just to have a taste. Somewhere through the middle, I got emotional again. Michelle lent me her shoulder and heck it was embarrassing. Downed the last few bits of the alcohol hoping they will take effect, following my crappy mood then. Yet nothing happened.

.

Crashed Jia Lynn's place for the night. It was really fun. Every single bit of it. From playing cards, to wii, to facetime with CK, to playing with the rabbit doll, to pillow talk, to camwhoring, to playing the piano, to failing at attempts to record my playing, to heart-to-heart talk with Amanda, to liking my pj so much, to applying lotion, to cracking jokes and laughing our asses off at four o'clock in the morning, to preparing for bed, to fighting for places to sleep, to falling asleep at five something in the morning, to waking up to the biological clock at 9.30am, to waking everyone else up, to trying to pull lazy bum Amanda out of bed, to sending Vanesse off to the LRT station, to coming back and continue disturbing Amanda till she gets up, to watching morning programs on tv, to catatonic moments, to going out for dim sum as brunch, to coming back home from the tiring day, to feeling all like a high school girl once again, to feeling contended, to thinking I can finally rest in peace? (awkward silence) *facepalm*

...

When you wake up in the morning, its sunshine all over again. Hello, life.

It was full moon today

Should I turn into a full-grown vamp

Leave you a mark and make you mine for eternity

LeePeiNing.