moon;

Don't Know Why by Norah Jones

Did you see the moon tonight?

Suspending midway across the sky,

Mysteriously shading itself from the eyes of the world

Behind those gray smithereens of clouds.

Did you see the moon tonight?

Oh how mesmerising the facade of it;

It draws your attention, your soul,

You are caught in limbo.

Did you see the moon tonight?

It was certainly bewitching.

And you wonder if it would be 'safe' for you

To take the path that crosses the Lakeside cemetery.

Did you see the moon tonight?

After many days and nights of heaven's tears,

The sky has finally cleared up,

Exposing the Milky Way for us to gaze at.

Did you see the moon tonight?

Because I certainly do,

And am glad that I am able to,

And am glad that I can.

Love,

Lee

Regressing,

Spring 2012.

It came soon after I was back from Minnesota and Iowa, she, back from China.

Our adventure continues...

Dream A Little Dream of Me by Louis Armstrong

Rainy days like this makes people more sentimental.

At least for me, it has that magical effect
.

We have different humor points, but we always seem to converge on each other when it comes to interest, thoughts, or even actions :)

Like the Chinese proverbs: 心有灵犀一点通

That's what we are...

She's the Yin to my Yang :)
,

I will miss her magic hands of cleaning up the room swiftly.
From this,

To this.

Just within a matter of a few moments...
,

She makes silly faces using her phone app,

,

She comforts me when my jeans gave up on me.

,

I'll never forget our Starbucks moments :)

She treated me a nice cup of Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuchino on this beautiful day of May.

.

Of course, time flies...

Spring semester came to an end. We took a trip down to NYC together on Amtrak, bid each other goodbyes in Penn Station for the Summer. We almost teared, like many other times saying goodbye to each other :')

Room 120D Adirondack Hall.

Goodbye. Our times together were wonderful

,

Spring 2012.

Till then, my dearest.

...

le rendezvous;

Don't Want An Ending by Sam Tsui

Life. Ironic, isn't it?

Was thinking about my beloved roommate when this came shuffled onto my playlist on Pandora

.

Fall 2011.
August 2011. I first made her acquaintance. I found out after that after going a month plus without any Chinese around her, provided with her English deficiency, she was enthusiastic to finally be able to join the Fall International Student Orientation, finally be able to meet some Chinese, only to be disappointed by my lack of Chinese conversation with her :(

The very next morning...

I was entering Adirondack Hall when I caught sight of Chihiro Kobayashi, her orientation leader, speaking to her down the hallway. I remember vividly how I hesitated, whether to walk over to strike up a conversation, or to proceed back to my room as I initially intended to. I shuffled down the hallway to my right in the end to meet them. The restlessness in both their pretty faces made me realized that I have made a pretty bad decision of joining them.

After several moments of casual conversation, they finally broke to me that she was having trouble with her roommate, Visa (签证), and was looking to switch roommates. Seeing that just the morning before I left for activities, my roommate moved in and made a pretty bad impression (waking me up with noises of her moving in, then quarreling with her parents over the phone with rude attitude), I promptly agreed to be roommate with her.

Ha! I still remember the look on her face. Wide eyes of disbelief with hints of relief.

"Really? Really?"

"Yeah! I can be your roommate."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm..."

Boy, she plunged into me like she won the powerball lottery :)

There, our journey began.

...

New York, New York by Frank Sinatra

I had help moving into our new room, 120D Adirondack Hall. I helped her after. Witnessed 签证 in action. I see why she wants to move out! 签证 had her cupboard drawer open, blocking 2/3 of the doorway entrance, didn't offer any help, expecting us to move things out of the room through that 1/3 space she left us. That's evil in action.

Next day, she moved her fridge when I was not around, hurt her feet, got stitches. It was ugly when I saw her again later in the afternoon. Funny how she put 签证 in the blame for her injury.

"签证 used black magic on me. See what became of me!"

Hahahahaha. She always makes me laugh
,

We stuck together like glue soon after we became roommates. Since her vocabulary was not strong enough, guess how we communicate? The guessing game :P
All the adorable sound effects that she would make, I'm the person who guesses. Sometimes, if she recognizes the word, she would point at me excitedly with that grin on her face. Sometimes, if she doesn't know what the word I said, I would have to explain, more explaining, then I would finally give in and say it in Chinese. If I don't know the Chinese word to it, Google comes in to save the day.
Our relationship then? People would say, amazing.
Of course, we developed our unique way of communicating with each other :)
.

Beyond The Sea by Kevin Spacey

Our first adventure together: Bubble wand :)

Yes! She was unpacking and I saw this bubble wand of hers. I wanted to play so she grabbed my camera and we went out to have a little fun. It was then, I discovered her love for photography. She's a pretty passionate photographer herself. She loves to take pictures of other people. Candid.

,

Our first pictures together... ♥

,

September 2011. I bought a huge pack of gummy bear. We camwhored with the gummy fountain :)

October 2011. Halloween. We went costume shopping, albeit not buying anything.

Halloween night. Look at all the candies we collected around the neighborhood!

November 2011. Our first outing together. We went to Burlington, following the trip organized by International Student Services (ISS). We shared bubble tea. We played with colorful shades. We had fun.

.

November 2011. It was ice-skating day with the original Mow group. She didn't join us in the rink, just sat around in the bench and took many great pictures of others having fun. I couldn't bear leaving her alone, away from everyone else, since I convinced her to join us in the Field House. I went to sit with her. We took pictures of course :)

.

I Think It Is Going To Rain Today by Norah Jones

November 2011. First Plattsburgh snowfall together. We are random. No. She is random. So it was our first time experiencing snowfall together, as roommates. The first time for me was during Thanksgiving break, when she was away.
"Pei Ning, it is snowing outside."
"Yeah I know."
{pause}
"Want to go out to take pictures?"
"Now?"
"Yeah."
"Its two something in the morning now!"
"Yeap."
"Okay..."
So we geared up and we out with her cameras. While she experimented with her new Leica toy, I fooled around with her Casio magic camera :)

,

December 2011. She and Omma gave me my first birthday party, Elmo themed. I cried. I cried so bad like a sad, sad child. Of course, it not only caught me off guard, my 'grief' caught everyone off guard as well. I was too happy. Tears of joy. I was touched.

Semester ended shortly after.
Goodbye Fall 2011

...

Change. GE 13.

When all hell breaks loose, keep calm and carry on

.

This could definitely be applied to my current academic situation, as well as (more importantly) the situation in my home country, Malaysia. Today, may or may not be the day that Malaysia creates history. My country's general election is today. As much as we all want a fair election, there's always those kind of people, who mess things up, who cheat, who don't play fair. There's always those kind of people. Am I not right?

For many years, my country's people has been battling with the government, who on the surface made everything seemed like our country is such a democratic one, but in reality resembles more authoritarian.

NO! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Along the way, comes people who realized how much Malaysia has been handicapped by the ruling power. Along the way, formed different organizations, aiming to create awareness for a better country, a better government.

Bersih! This means "clean" in malay.

What more do I need to say? The people has spoken! We want a country free from corruption, free from oppression, free from racial discrimination, free from racial segregation! We want a truly united nation, a place where everyone feels belonged, feels safe. We want a place all Malaysian could call "home".

General Election. Today.

Please. I urge all Malaysians. Deliberate before casting your votes today. Our country has been governed by the same ruling party ever since Independence Day in 1957. It could definitely afford some change. Let us usher in real peace and harmony within the country by voting for the better. We don't want to be ruled by fear, threats and scams anymore! We want a safe country to live in! We want a truly united nation by heart and soul, not through propagandas and phony slogans because we all know that behind the politicians' elegant facades lie a lifestyle of grotesque luxury and hypocrisy.

Most importantly, stay safe.

GE 13. Ubah! Ini kalilah!

Much love from the States,

a fellow Malaysian

忐忑。

Hello. I am still alive.

It happened all too quickly. Adrenaline was rushing. Despite the full blown activation of the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous System, all that filled my ears were the urgency of the honking by the culprit and the roaring sound of the word "shit" in my mind. Milliseconds after, the car was rocking vigorously back and forth side ways. The car came this close, this close to flipping over.

My left arm came first into contact with the side of the car, leaving it swollen and bruised now. It hurts.

My mind, is constantly reminded of the scientific term "coupe" and "contra-coupe" that means brain damage on first contact and secondary contact following the impact.

My heart races when I have a flash back of the incident.

There were five of us in the car, yet, I was the only person who saw everything the clearest.

That blue car was coming at us at full speed. The driver himself knew that he wouldn't make it in time to brake and didn't bother to, expecting us to do it. We were already more than halfway through turning. In spite daddy's last second accelerating, we couldn't make it. The bumper was destroyed. Kaput.

It was an experience nevertheless, just not a very fun one. Car being hit twice in five days? Both within the short time frame that I am back home from US? What luck is this?

Signing out from Singapore, barely recovering from the fever yesterday,

Pei Ning

being you,

One Sweet Love by Sara Bareilles

that journey of self-discovery

that journey of discovering what I truly want

.

You know how I feel about people who don't even bother to try? It is like:

"Why would you look down on people who work hard to achieve their goals? The people you should be looking down upon are those who are like you, who don't bother to try, yet at the same time, criticise and patronise people who end up to be more successful than yourself because of their efforts."

Honestly, ultimately, you live your life for yourself. If you want to be as competent as others, do it! Work hard towards it! Better yourself! Don't just sit there and expect rewards to come. Don't just sit there waiting for each shooting star to cut across the sky so that you can make a wish upon it because before you know it, you would be too preoccupied with admiring the beauty of those and fail to make a wish yourself.

People wish for miracles for happen. It does happen once in a while, so don't be completely discouraged by the realistic world. Nevertheless, miracles don't always happen without catalyst. You are the catalyst. You hear people saying "I'm trying."

How about changing your approach and say "I'm working on it." instead?

Trying does not show effort. Working on something is showing effort and effort is an indispensable element towards success.

"Genius is 1 percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration." - Thomas Edison

Feed on your motivation, not procrastination!

Once in a while is fine. At least you know that you won't burn yourself out.

Yours,

Pei Ning

paper. cut.

Superman by Five For Fighting

paper cut. that's right.

who would've foreseen that?

who would've taken precaution?

that's right. no one.

no one pays attention. no one cares.

no one but you.

paper. as common as it seems.

who would've thought that it would be the culprit?

who would've taken precaution?

that's right. no one.

no one pays attention. no one cares.

no one until you get cut.

a paper cut.

paper cut wound. as trivial as it seems.

who would've thought that it would hurt so much?

who would've thought that it would last for so long?

that's right. no one.

no one pays attention. no one cares.

no one but you.

you with the paper cut.

agony. as much as it stings.

who would've thought that its impact would be colossal?

who would've thought it would be so devastating?

that's right. no one.

no one pays attention. no one cares.

no one but you.

you with the wound.

paper cut wound. steadily lying on my right ring finger.

such deep wound that it lasted for three full days and far from being completely healed.

who would've thought it would be so serious?

who would have thought?

Pei Ning

did you?

Dreaming With A Broken Heart by John Mayer

Was listening to this song and I heard this phrase,

"waking up is the hardest part"

As a person who adores metaphor, I fell in love immediately with this phrase, being that I can relate to this phrase at a personal level as well

.

Whoever says that waking up is going to be easy? Every morning, that moment when you open your eyes, it is another brand new day and you know it. However, the temptation to just continue lying down and snuggle with your blanket is great!

Talk about the Physics principle of Inertia. Definitely true, especially after a whole night long of not moving

,

Whoever says that waking up from a dream is going to be easy? Of course, it involves you giving up of your previous believes and adopting a new set. It involves a new set of belief that completely contradict with your current ones.

How apprehensive that the future is no longer bright for you after waking up.

Look around you, the world is moving on, signifying the urgency for you to keep up. Of course it is moving forward, but whether in the right track with the right pace or not, only itself is clear about it.

That small fee I paid to see the world, is probably the best investments I have ever had in my life since young. Sure I splurge on unnecessary things occasionally, but this was an eye-opener.

It got me thinking. It got me pondering. It answered many questions I previously had.

I was rather traumatized. No doubt that I was. There were numerous events that I had to slowly digest, but deep in my heart, I know that I have decided and I have to stay strong with that decision.

After all, who would invest their trust on me if I couldn't trust my own instinct?

I'm glad that I still see some light in the dark endless tunnel. It was gradually fogging up, even the light seemed blurry and vague.

Should I pick up my pace and sprint towards it before it vanishes? Or should I stay put and admire the beautiful ray, regret when it vanishes?

"A true pilot must of necessity pay attention to the season, the heaven, the stars, the winds and everything proper to the craft if he is really the rule a ship." - Plato, The Republic

LeePeiNing

Betrayed.

It certainly took me forever to regain consciousness.

Forever to wake up from that deep slumber.

Feels like everything that I once had was unreal, fake and phony.

Everything was for a reason, a motif behind drawn curtains.

I cannot comprehend.

I certainly cannot fathom.

There is no way I can.

How could people transform from being such an innocent harmless child at birth, to be so maliciously harmful to other people's well being?

Such selfish bastards those people are.

I would be more than willing to pick up a weapon and end their petty little pest life right there.

Sadistically enjoy their slow and excruciatingly painful death.

Sadistically enjoy the sight of their body structures and limbs drop separately and lifelessly on the floor before my feet.

Sadistically savor the taste of those mudblood on my lips.

I would even be Hitler reborn of this 21st century, have a genocide for pests like you from the world.

The absence of people like you, oh yes I could already see it, taste it.

The freedom and peaceful ambient in the surrounding.

My last words for you -

"For all the sins that you have committed, you shall have karma to come against your will.

Burn in hell."

evil.

see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil

,

i wish life was that simple.

i wish.